A tragedy occurred at my office building today. As many of you know, I work for our city government here in Philadelphia, in the Office of the City Commissioners. While our main office is in City Hall, most days I work out of our Voter Registration Office, which is located in Northern Liberties. The building is eight stories tall, and we share the building with other city agencies and some private businesses. The tenants on the 4th floor of our building provide social services to individuals battling addiction and the mentally ill. While I don’t personally know any of the employees or patients from the 4th floor, I’ve had (mostly) pleasant exchanges with the people who I recognize, as we’ve been sharing the same elevators for the past two years. Around 3 PM today, we noticed that there were fire trucks and an ambulance outside. Apparently someone had died by jumping off the fire escape stairwell that runs along the side of the building. The initial rumor that spread, which turned out to be incorrect, was that it was a patient from the 4th floor. While this would have certainly been a tragedy in and of itself, it may have been an easier situation to understand if the person had in fact been a 4th floor patient, perhaps lacking the mental faculties to fully understand the consequences of his actions. Unfortunately, the truth was far more tragic. The person who died was an employee from the 8th floor, a male in his mid-twenties. The story that his coworkers shared with some of the people who work in our department was that the individual had made some kind of mistake at work, was distraught about the possibility of losing his job, quickly wrote a suicide note, and then jumped to his death. I don’t know the name of the victim. I don’t know what he looked like. And therefore I don’t know whether or not he was someone who I may have recognized from working in the same building for the past couple of years. But I do know that he was definitely somebody’s child and somebody’s coworker…and possibly somebody’s sibling, boyfriend, husband, father, and/or friend. And I know that he chose to address an impermanent setback by taking a disproportional action that had permanent consequences. His life is now over. And he has shattered the worlds of the people who knew and loved him. I share this story because it provides some good reminders for all of us: First, suicide is never, ever, ever the answer…no matter the problem, the heartache, the fear, the pain, or the guilt. Dig deep, and find the courage to reach out to someone and share what’s on your mind. Ending your life is never a viable option…but if it feels like it is, then you have nothing to lose by choosing to hold on a bit longer and speaking to somebody about what’s in your head. Next, we need to remember to pay attention to those around us – not just those we love or those we know… but also the people who we see at the coffee shop, the subway riders on our morning commute, the cashier at the grocery store, or the lonely face at the bar. We all go through rough times. And during those times, logic and rationality often give way to overwhelming emotion, and a challenging situation can become suffocating. We never know when a friendly smile or a sincere “you look a bit down, is everything ok?” can save a person’s life. Finally, and perhaps most important, we should all strive to be a bit more self-aware, thoughtful, and considerate about how our words and actions are interpreted by others (this is definitely an area for improvement for me!). Sometimes we may say something to a colleague, family member, or friend to try to motivate the person to work harder or to be better…but the other person internalizes your good intentions as an unbearable pressure. So don’t forget to check in with people…make sure the things that you say or do are being interpreted the way that you meant them. We all make mistakes. We all have bad days. And we all need a little help sometimes – so don’t be too afraid to ask for it when you need it…and don’t be too shy to offer it to someone else.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2014 02:13:56 +0000
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