AJs 11 months old! Crazy ... In less than a month we will have a 1 year old. Hes getting so big. So inquisitive and funny and cuddly. He tries to imitate noises and is talking more and more. Oh I just adore this little boy so much. We had a cardiologist appointment on Wednesday and all is very well. Theres always a large amount of stress that builds up before these appointments. Every 3 months for about a week before ... I feel anxious and angry and I dont sleep well. I am scared that when I walk through the door and get through his EKG and X-ray and Echo that Dr. Becker will come in and say its time. I know it has to happen, I just dont want it to be now. And I never will. Just let him get a little bit bigger. Just get past cold and flu season. Just a little longer ... Please let us put it off just a little longer. Theres a couple Facebook groups I belong to and I have to say that I am really grateful for them. In one, a fellow CHD mom confessed her fears of losing her son. She asked if anyone else had these thoughts and if she was crazy for thinking them. I commented and reassured her she wasnt. That its normal to fear for your childs life and when you know its threatened youre going to think about it constantly until that threat is gone. I fear the day I hand my son over to the surgeon. I trust the medical team completely but I still fear what theyll be doing. Im scared to death that something will go wrong. Its not what theyre doing ... Im not afraid of them patching the hole or removing excess muscle or placing the conduit ... Im afraid of them stopping his heart and starting it back up again? What if it doesnt work? I know in my heart that things will be fine .. That AJ is a fighter and so much stronger than I am. That he will come out of this just fine. But Im still scared. And I will probably always be fearful when it comes to that boy. But for 3 more months I get to relax ... Well relax as much as is possible for me when it comes to AJ. On a cardiac level he is doing fantastic. His pulmonary arteries are growing thanks to the shunt and his heart is normal size. Oxygen levels are great, right where they should be. Dr. Becker showed me the views from his CT scan and I was able to see a 3D/4D image of AJs aortic arch and where the anomalous coronary artery sits over his pulmonary valve. Incredible. I saw his shunt and what really amazed me was that I understood almost everything Dr. Becker was saying. I guess all that googling and listening paid off. So our next appointment is in February. Its looking like it might be spring when he has his repair. But AJ will really be the one to make that decision. Well keep monitoring him like we always do and if his O2 levels start to drop then it will be sooner. But cross your fingers that we can get through cold and flu season and let him grow. Oh and my sweet baby boy is 30 inches long and 20 1/2 lbs. So amazing to hear that he is right on track with where he supposed to be. Below are some pics from his visit. As hes getting older I have to do more and more to keep him calm during the visits since he can roll off the table and show his displeasure by trying to wiggle out of whatever position they have him in. We finally got an updated pic with Dr. Becker. Love the one where theyre looking at each other. And then AJ with his 11 month pic, I literally had to follow him around the entire house and was not able to get one with him looking at me. So I took one of him while hes doing his favorite thing ... Getting into stuff and pulling things out of where theyre supposed to be!! Love it.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 03:41:39 +0000
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