APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME_________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: _____________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain _____________________________________ _____________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No C. A waterbed? __Yes __No D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No E. A tattoo? __Yes __No F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? (IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.) ESSAY SECTION: In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? _____________________________________ _____________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you? _____________________________________ _____________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? _____________________________________ _____________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend _____________________________________ How often you attend _____________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? _____________ mother? _____________ pastor? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: _____________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: _____________________________________ C: A womans place is in the: _____________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: _____________________________________ E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: _____________________________________ F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. _____________________________________ Applicants Signature (that means sign your name, slowpoke!) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mothers Signature Fathers Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-intimate. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably cant, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)To prepare yourself, start studying Daddys Rules for Dating.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 05:29:05 +0000
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