AWARENESS: Do you know what you’re feeling (or do you know more about what other people feel)? Are you conscious of how people intrude on your boundaries physically and/or emotionally? Do you trust your instinct/gut? Your own awareness to yourself and what is around you is your very first line of defense. True self-defense begins long before any physical contact. The first, and probably the most important component in self-defense or personal safety is awareness. Always be aware of your own feelings, your surroundings, and your potential attacker’s likely strategies against you. Statistically speaking, in almost 90% of the cases of assaults against women, she has some knowledge of who her attacker is. It may be someone she knows well, someone who knows her, a classmate, someone she has seen at various locations (grocery store, laundromat, bank, etc.) Here are some examples of strategies that could be used against you: •Intrusion/Test - The person subtly checks out your boundaries by physical proximity, comments, demands on your time and attention, etc. This can go on for minutes or months, and depending on your boundaries, you may not even notice. •Desensitization – You become accustomed to his intrusions/tests, and no longer notice when your physical/ social/emotional boundaries are crossed. •Isolation – The perpetrator isolates you, or waits for a situation where you’re isolated, to provide an opportunity for an assault/rape/attack. Trust your instincts. If someone makes you uncomfortable, don’t discount that feeling. Don’t give out a lot of information about yourself until you feel comfortable doing so. Go into any situation knowing where you want to set the boundary for that time and place. Watch for danger signals (thanks to Gavin deBecker for discussing these in his book The Gift of Fear: •Behaviors such as angry outbursts which are intended to intimidate or control •Doesn’t listen to you or doesn’t believe you (discounts your “NO”) •Intrudes...
Posted on: Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:51:02 +0000
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