About 5 years ago, I was getting dressed for the LBD party. I had worked all day on my dress. Then someone said to me a variant of Look. You need to face the fact that you dont look like Nicole Kidman. It hit me pretty hard, but I didnt really know why at the time. First, I was never under the impression that I did, in fact, look like Nicole Kidman. It wasnt the outright mean of You are ugly but the intent was definitely an attempt to undermine my self esteem as were SO MANY comments from this person. I have learned now that it was classic bullying but I didnt make it very far into the party before I started crying because I felt so insecure. Now I know why that particular comment stayed with me over the others. Its because I used to be so glamored by the special priveledges that youth, money and beauty afforded certain random people. It was a sickness called elitism. I had been made priveledge to some of those things and I was ever greedy for the next door or the next thing. But, I have learned something from aging and sagging. I dont want to be friends with people who would judge me on those terms and I DID NOT need to come to terms with the fact that I dont look like Nicole Kidman. I needed to come to terms with the fact that I look like me and no matter what age I am or what size I am, I deserve to feel beautiful because the being in this shell is RADIANT and officially no longer gives a damn whats behind the door with the diamond on it because if I shine with who I am, those who have eyes to see me, will and the rest just dont matter.
Posted on: Sat, 02 Aug 2014 21:58:25 +0000
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