After seeing the numerous recollections of liberty, Ive got a big grin on my face. Over the years, I would sometimes find myself on a boring journey to someplace else and would tell a story my uncle had told me as a young man.. The story has now taken on a life of its own and bears little resemblence to the story originally told to me nearly 50 years ago. I was known on more than one occasion to tell a version of this story to other Marines as we made a swoop to someones house or lady friends city on a long weekend. Grab a cup of coffee, this one takes a little while... -------------------------- Up The Hill, Down The Hill One day, not long ago, three young Marines returned from their third deployment in the regions well to the east of their homeland. They were tired veterans and all were a little homesick. Their benevolent leader understood their weariness and said unto them Take thirty days leave, and be back here in California at the end of your rest. Like most young Marines, however, they were sorely lacking funds. Since they were broke, they pondered how they could afford the fares to their hometown. One of them, Mark, was idly looking at the newspaper spread out on the squad bay table and saw an ad: Drive our cars to Minneapolis! We will pay you to drive our cars See Joe at Megalot Motors And it came to pass that Mark, Sam and Harry did go unto Megalot Motors. They spoke to Joe who told them he had three cars to go to Minneapolis. He would give each of them $1000 to make the trip. They would pay their own expenses from the fund, and keep whatever was left as their pay for the job. Our intrepid Marines discussed the proposition and decided it could be done one of two ways. They could all ride in one car, take the thousand dollars and split the proceeds and the driving. The other obvious alternative was to take all three cars and keep the proceeds for each themselves. Being smart, hardworking Marines, they realized that what ever was left from $3000 was obviously more than what would remain from $1000 and decided to take all three cars. They went back to Joe and told him they would take all three cars. Joe said Great! Ive got a Prius, a Taurus and an Escalade. You boys decide who gets which one. Sam, being the youngest was allowed to choose first. He looked over all three cars. He decided that although the Prius was not much more than a soup can on wheels, it would certainly be the cheapest to drive to Minneapolis, and he took a thousand dollars from Joe and away he went. Mark was next. He spent nearly a half hour looking over the two remaining cars and, like Sam, decided the one that got the better gas mileage would be the obvious choice, so Joe gave him a thousand dollars and he drove away in the Taurus. Harry was left with Escalade, but he didnt mind. It was, after all, a Cadillac and it should ride well and swiftly on the journey to Minneapolis. Soon, Sam realized that although the Prius was a great car for around town, it was sorely taxed when he got to the mountains. Sam drove up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Even though a Prius gets very good gas mileage, soon Sam realized he would be needing gas to continue his quest to Minneapolis. So he started looking for a gas station as he was driving Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Soon, he saw a sign: Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station We Pump While You Pee Sam pulled in to the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station and was greeted by the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant who asked Would you like Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Regular; Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Premium or Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Super Premium? Sam knew there was no point in paying extra for gas in the Prius and told the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant to fill it with Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Regular. Certainly sir! said the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant,And the restrooms are inside the store. Sam went inside and relieved himself of the two big cups of Marine coffee hed had before he started that morning. When he came out feeling much better, he paid the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant with Up The Hill Down The Hill money and went on his way. The mountains got steeper, and the little car was going as fast as it could, which wasnt as good as it had been in the flat lands. Sam went Up The Hill, Down the Hill. Up The Hill, Down the Hill. Up The Hill, Down the Hill. Up The Hill, Down the Hill. This was very tiring for Sam and he decided he should stop and get a snack and so he started looking for some place to pull off. He spotted a sign for the Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut and decided he should stop there. He pulled in to the Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut and went to the window. The Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Cashier said Good afternoon Sir! Would you like an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Regular Dog; an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Dog or an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Chili Dog? Sam was more tired than hungry, and he chose an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Regular Dog and a Coke to wash it down. He paid the Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Cashier with Up The Hill, Down The Hill money and retired to a picnic table a little distance away at the edge of the lot. Soon, he was finished with his repast and got back in the little econobox and continued on his trip. The up side of the mountains were still as steep as before, but now he noticed the back sides were getting steeper, too. He drove Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. After a while, he realized he needed to stop for the night and started looking for a place to park his weary carcass. Still, he drove Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Up. The. Hill. DownTheHill. Until he saw a sign: Up The Hill Down The Hill Farm And Transient Barracks For Weary Marines He realized this was the place to stop for the night and pulled in from the highway. He was greeted as he got out of the car by Master Sergeant Dan Daly, USMC Retired and his lovely daughter Louise B. Daly. Top said to Sam, Welcome Marine! We have a squad bay over there where you can sleep tonight and get a hot shower. In the morning, well have a good breakfast for you before you continue on your way. Come to the house about zero dark thirty for breakfast. We dont charge anything for this, because I know how broke young Marines usually are. I hope youll join me tonight to retire the colors and join me on the porch for some fine Rum and a few Sea Stories. Sam realized this was the best deal he could have hoped for, and grabbed his AWOL bag out of the back seat and went to the squad bay. Meanwhile, Mark was driving the Taurus and soon he came to the mountains. He thought it was pretty site as continued to drive Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. He noticed the fantastic vistas from the tops of the mountains and was glad he could enjoy them without worrying about ducking lead. He soon realized that he would be needing some gas, so he started looking for a gas station. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Soon, he saw a sign: Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station We Pump While You Pee Mark pulled in to the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station and was greeted by the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant who asked Would you like Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Regular; Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Premium or Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Super Premium? Mark thought the Taurus would probably run better on a higher grade of gas and told the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant to fill it with Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Premium. Certainly sir! said the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant,And the restrooms are inside the store. Mark went inside and relieved himself of the three cups of Marine coffee hed had before he started that morning. When he came out feeling much better, he paid the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant with Up The Hill Down The Hill money and went on his way. Even though the mountains got steeper, the Taurus ran just fine on the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Premium, and he continued Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Soon, he realized he hadnt eaten since chow the night before and decided he should look for a place to get something to eat. He drove Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Up the hill, down the hill. Until he came to Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut and decided he should stop there. He went to the window and the Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Cashier asked him Would you like an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Regular Dog; an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Dog or an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Chili Dog? He was hungry, but didnt want to get chili on his clean shirt, so he asked for an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Dog and a Coke. He paid with Up The Hill, Down The Hill money and found a spot at the picnic table where Sam had left a little while before. Feeling much better, he soon returned to the Taurus, and went on his way. Even though the mountains were steeper, it didnt slow Mark and the Taurus very much. He went Up The Hill. Down The Hill. Up The Hill. Down The Hill. Up The Hill. Down The Hill. Up The Hill. Down The Hill. Until he noticed it was nearly sundown and he should look for a place for the night. Soon he spotted the sign for the Up The Hill Down The Hill Farm And Transient Barracks For Weary Marines We Harvest Rocks He realized this was the place to stop for the night and pulled in from the highway. He was greeted as he got out of the car by Master Sergeant Dan Daly, USMC Retired and his lovely daughter Louise B. Daly. Top said to Mark, Welcome Marine! We have a squad bay over there where you can sleep tonight and get a hot shower. In the morning, well have a good breakfast for you before you continue on your way. Come to the house about zero dark thirty for breakfast. We dont charge anything for this, because I know how broke young Marines usually are. I hope youll join me tonight to retire the colors and join me on the porch for some fine Rum and a few Sea Stories. We have another Marine here tonight name of Sam, do you know him? Mark smiled as he realized his friend Sam with the Prius was safely parked for the night and grabbed his AWOL bag and headed for the squad bay. While all this was going on, Harry and the Escalade were making their way to the mountains. Harry had talked to a sweet young thing he knew in Minneapolis, and told her he would be there as quick as he could, so he wasnt sparing the horses on the powerful Escalade. When he came to the mountains he continued at the same speed as on the flats UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. Now even though an Escalade has a ginormous gas tank, he was consuming fuel at high rate of fuel flow and knew he better get some gas soon or it would be a cold lonely night on the side of the road in the mountains. He continued UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. And was very relieved to see the sign Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station We Pump While You Pee Harry pulled in to the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station and was greeted by the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant who asked Would you like Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Regular; Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Premium or Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Super Premium? Harry knew the Escalade wouldnt run well on anything less than Super Premium and told the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant to fill it with Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station Super Premium. Certainly sir! said the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant,And the restrooms are inside the store. Harry went inside and relieved himself of the cup of Marine coffee hed had before he started that morning. When he came out feeling much better, he paid the Up The Hill Down The Hill Gas Station attendant with Up The Hill Down The Hill money and went on his way. The Escalade was a joy to drive and Harry kept his foot on the pedal. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. He was getting hungry, all he had for chow that morning was a couple of sinkers with his coffee, and started looking for a place to stop. He came to Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut and decided he should stop there. He went to the window and the Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Cashier asked him Would you like an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Regular Dog; an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Dog or an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Chili Dog? He was hungry, and didnt mind if he got chili on his shirt, so he asked for an Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Chili Dog and a Coke. He paid with Up The Hill, Down The Hill money and found a spot at the picnic table where Sam and Mark had left a little while before. The Up The Hill, Down The Hill Hot Dog Hut Foot-long Chili Dog filled an empty corner of his tummy and soon he was back in the Escalade. Even though the mountains were much steeper, that didnt slow Harry and the thundering Escalade at all. He continued UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. UpTheHill DownTheHill. But soon, he realized that even a Marine has to sleep sometime and he began looking for a place to stop for the night. You can imagine his joy when saw the sign Up The Hill Down The Hill Farm And Transient Barracks For Weary Marines We Harvest Rocks 0311 Tarawa Lane He pulled in from the highway. He was greeted as he got out of the car by Master Sergeant Dan Daly, USMC Retired and his lovely daughter Louise B. Daly. Top said to Mark, Welcome Marine! We have a squad bay over there where you can sleep tonight and get a hot shower. In the morning, well have a good breakfast for you before you continue on your way. Come to the house about zero dark thirty for breakfast. We dont charge anything for this, because I know how broke young Marines usually are. I hope youll join me tonight to retire the colors and join me on the porch for some fine Rum and a few Sea Stories. We have two other Marines here tonight name of Sam and Mark, do you know them? Harry whooped with joy when he realized his friend Sam with the Prius and Mark with the Taurus were safely parked for the night and grabbed his AWOL bag and headed for the squad bay. When Harry got in the squad bay, he saw that it was well equipped to cater to road weary transient Marines. There were racks for a dozen Marines, with nice thick mattresses, a large flat screen TV and a refrigerator with a sign Help your self to some Up The Hill, Down The Hill Beer. There was a head, with private showers and plenty of hot water. Harry greeted his friends and grabbed some clean sheets from the linen locker and made his rack, bouncing a quarter to make sure it was done right. When sundown came, they all gathered at the flag pole and retired the colors for the night. Sam and Harry carefully folded Old Glory and Top told them to put it in the front hall on the shelf next to his Kabar and M1911A1. When they came out on the porch, they saw the lovely Louise B. Daly was bringing out a tray with a bottle of Rum and glasses. She was a fine looking lass. This was to be expected because it is a well known fact that Marines are particularly choosy when selecting their wives and choose only the prettiest ladies to share their lives. Louise brought to mind another famous Marine, Louis Puller, but for reasons that didnt have anything to do with his heroism. Soon the rum was poured and the Corps was toasted. Top said Alright time for Sea Stories. Do you Marines know the difference between Sea Stories and Fairy Tales? After thinking for a minute, Sam said Yeah, Fairy Tales begin Once Upon A Time and Sea Stories begin with No Shit, this really happened. After that, theyre pretty much the same. Sea Stories were told aplenty that night and moderate quantities of rum were consumed. Tops bulldog Private Schmuckatelli was petted and admired by all. The lovely Louise was NOT petted but was also admired by the three young Marines. (This aint that kind of farmers daughter story) Top finally said, Well, its about time for lights out. Private Schmuckatelli here will get you Marines up in the morning and then you can come in for breakfast before you leave. They all went back to the squad bay, thinking of the lovely Louise and how grateful they were for the place to rest easy that night. As the light faded there was a chorus of Good Night Chesty, wherever you are! At zero dark hundred, Private Schmuckatelli bounded in the squad bay barking for reveille and our well rested Marines arose. They took care of the three Ss and gave the squad bay a quick field day. It wouldnt do to leave a sloppy squad bay for the next folks to have to clean. They got to the kitchen door at zero dark thirty and were greeted by the lovely Louise who said her Dad was out harvesting rocks. When asked why he was harvesting rocks she explained that her dad had a contract to supply rocks to the U. S. Army. Sometimes they had soldiers who were considered to be Not much smarter than a box of rocks and they need rocks for definitive comparison purposes. She had a fragrant pot of Marine coffee ready and poured three steaming mugs full. She didnt offer cream or sugar because Marines know if its good coffee it doesnt need them and if its bad coffee it wont help. She said We cook on a wood stove here, so it will be a few minutes before its warm enough to cook on. Well be having eggs, pancakes, hash browns and bacon. While youre waiting why dont you have a bowl of cereal? We have Cheerios and Wheaties. Sam asked for Cheerios. Mark asked for Cheerios Harry asked for Wheaties. Now gentle reader, this was a story with a moral. Do you know what the moral is? Think about it before scrolling down to reveal the point. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | Keep scrolling | | | | | | | OK, heres the moral: Two out of three Marines prefer Cheerios.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 07:32:03 +0000
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