Alone These choices that Im choosing. At times they feel so wrong. Something deep inside of me, knows Im not that strong. It was only yesterday. I decided I would quit. Then an hour later I dont care one bit. The only problem is. I feel so pretend. Because I really do care. How this all will end. Ive spent my last dollar. On the next time I get high. This cant last forever. This barely getting by. At night when I am all alone I sometimes search my soul. It seems I am afraid, Ive lost my self control. I look at those that love me. But I cant look them in the eyes. For fear that they will see in me. And then maybe realize. That who I am and want to be. Are like night and day. I hate who Im becoming. But Im in my own way. I cant help but wonder if life would rearrange. If only I could find the strength that I need to change. The mistakes they keep piling up. That I myself now own. I know if Im to do it. I cant do it all alone. Edwin C Hofert
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 18:52:48 +0000