An excerpt from Avoidance, Awareness, & Prevention Warning Signs Gavin de Becker, in The Gift of Fear covers 7 tactics a predator will commonly use to gain your trust or take advantage of you. I won’t go into great detail, as you should read the book yourself, but they are worth mentioning here: •Forced Teaming: The predator uses the word “we” to establish a relationship or show you have something in common. It’s abnormal for a stranger to use the word “we” with you. •Charm: Charm isn’t a natural human trait, it requires an effort. If a stranger is being charming, there’s a reason. He wants something from you. •Too Many Details: The predator knows he’s lying, even if you don’t. He’ll often give you far too many details than a normal person would, in attempt to make his story more believable. •Typecasting: A predator will often attempt to put you in a group you don’t want to be in, so you’ll bend over backwards trying to prove you’re not what he says you are...racist, rude, inconsiderate, etc. He’ll do this to get you to do what he wants. •Loan Sharking: The predator does something for you, so you feel you need to reciprocate. He may “help” you put your groceries in your car, open a door for you, etc. •Unsolicited Promise: This is a big one, and is nearly always a sign of real trouble. A predator says, “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”, “I’m not one of those crazy people, I promise.” If he’s saying it, he’s thinking about doing it. •Discounting the Word “No”: Predators will discount when you tell them “no”. When you tell them you don’t need their help, they’ll help you anyway. When you tell them no, they’ll disregard it. Most people will notice these tactics on some level. They’ll feel uncomfortable, but they won’t trust their instincts. It’s important not only to be aware, but also to trust your feelings. The Gift of Fear is an excellent title, as fear really is a gift. It was given to us by nature to let us know when trouble is present. When you feel fear, there is likely a very good reason. Pay attention to it. And do something about it. functionalselfdefense.org/awareness-prevention
Posted on: Mon, 16 Sep 2013 23:08:11 +0000
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