An oldie but a goodie. Also, here is the full text of his poem. Enjoy! :) A Vegetarians Nightmare or A Dissertation on Plants Rights by Baxter Black a dissertation on plant’s rights Ladies and diners I make you A shameful, degrading confession. A deed of disgrace in the name of good taste Though I did it, I meant no aggression. I had planted a garden last April And lovingly sang it a ballad. But later in June beneath a full moon Forgive me, I wanted a salad! So I slipped out and fondled a carrot Caressing its feathery top. With the force of a brute I tore out the root! It whimpered and came with a pop! Then laying my hand on a radish I jerked and it left a small crater. Then with the blade of my True Value spade I exhumed a slumbering tater! Celery I plucked, I twisted a squash! Tomatoes were wincing in fear. I choked the Romaine. It screamed out in pain, Their anguish was filling my ears! I finally came to the lettuce As it cringed at the top of the row With one wicked slice I beheaded it twice As it writhed, I dealt a death blow. I butchered the onions and parsley. My hoe was all covered with gore. I chopped and I whacked without looking back Then I stealthily slipped in the door. My bounty lay naked and dying So I drowned them to snuff out their life. I sliced and I peeled as they thrashed and they reeled On the cutting board under my knife. I violated tomatoes So their innards could never survive. I grated and ground ‘til they made not a sound Then I boiled the tater alive! Then I took the small broken pieces I had tortured and killed with my hands And tossed them together, heedless of whether They suffered or made their demands. I ate them. Forgive me, I’m sorry But hear me, though I’m a beginner Those plants feel pain, though it’s hard to explain To someone who eats them for dinner! I intend to begin a crusade For PLANT’S RIGHTS, including chick peas. The A.C.L.U. will be helping me too. In the meantime, please pass the bleu cheese. BROCCOLI POWER!!
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 23:19:39 +0000