Audience member after a show: You dont look anything like your headshot. How long ago was that taken? Me: That promo picture was taken just last year, thank you, and this may clarify your statement and answer your question… you see, I hired a talented professional photographer, Glenn Cambell—no relation, who had a great Cannon camera, theatrical lighting, Photoshop, and he brought along a make-up lady that painted me up, powdered me down, picked out a nice shirt, and as if that wasnt enough, Glenn took over a hundred shots, and out of those many shots, I picked the one where I looked the best, the most handsome, the picture where the lights caught my eyes just right, the photo where my hair looked fuller, the pose where my face looked slimmer, and damn if the combination of photography skill, equipment, lighting, computer software manipulation, face paint, and numerous photo choices, didnt make me look better, cuter, and shave off a few years. Look, I hear what youre saying: Im hideous, grizzled, and old in person compared to that picture, so I hope this clears up any confusion you may have, and if youre not buying any merchandise, please move along so the people behind you in line can get something, you know, like a DVD or an autographed headshot that looks nothing like me. Audience member: Uh… ok, Ill take a DVD. Me: Here you go, and put away your money, you may want to save up and take a compliment class.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 01:35:17 +0000
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