BOTH PARENTS - NEED V. DESERVE October 10, 2014 What is it that we see everywhere in the family law reform movement regarding custody? That children deserve both parents and to have an equal relationship with each. If we truly believed this, would the divorce rate be above 51%? Since I do not have the power to change people nor to prevent divorce, let us focus on matters of divorce and/or a separation, as these circumstances change everything when it comes to determining what these children need, versus what they deserve. First things first, there is a great deal of talk regarding the fact that it should be a legal presumption that children be allowed this equal time. Well, isnt this already the presumption? Since I am a resident of New Jersey and this is the state where my nightmare experience with family court unraveled, I will start here. In New Jersey the law states the following: The law in the State of New Jersey (NJ) is gender neutral and both parents are presumed to have equal rights to their children. In New Jersey, as with most if not all states that I am aware, this is also the presumption. Then, why are the below statistics what is reality? An estimated 14.4 million parents lived with 23.4 million children under 21 years of age while the other parent(s) lived somewhere else. • About 18.3 percent of custodial parents were fathers. *The majority of custodial parents (81.7 percent) were mothers. census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p60-246.pdf The answer is because all agreements are voluntary and at any time even a previously agreed upon order can be amended via consent order and, without the use of a lawyer and without an appearance in court. The catch, it requires that both parties agree, voluntarily. Therefore, when looking at these statistics and taking into account voluntary agreements and the fact that both parents are presumed to have equal rights with the law being gender neutral then, again, why are 81.7 percent of custodial parents mothers and 18.3 percent fathers? Do we really believe that these 81.7 percent of noncustodial fathers do not want to be an equal part of their childrens lives? Before we delve into any type of reform regarding new laws on presumptions, we need to first assess what we might not be presuming accurately about what currently exists and why so very many children are actually fatherless, first. We need oxygen. We deserve to breathe. Cut off the supply and we die. A child needs to breathe. When one parent is shutting off, controlling or decreasing their childs oxygen supply, that parents ability to achieve this must then be severed, in order that the child gets what he or she deserves...to breathe. Now, based on the above information, who is it that is responsible for shutting off, controlling and/or decreasing the childs oxygen supply?
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 11:46:23 +0000
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