BOY OH BOY can the holidays be hard for some of us.... hurt, sadness, painful memories, you name it....... NOPE-- I dont have all the answers, (although I may think I do.) I KNOW this.. I know that my PLAN A didnt work. I know I didnt want to be abused, I didnt want to be anorexic, I didnt want to be unhealthy, I didnt want to have to watch my daughter suffer so.... I didnt want to get divorced, I didnt want to hurt my children, or others... I didnt want to be ill --------BUT it has happened... I know that my body doesnt do the things I want it too, or when I want it too. I know I cant make it happen. I know in the midst of what is happening to it, to me, I CHRISTINE MARIE have 2 choices, I can choose to lose hope in it, to suffer in it, or to choose HOPE and NOT let myself suffer in it! ONLY I can make that choice folks! For those of you who know about my medical problems, its been a 20 + year journey. One I thought would have an answer, the Drs would fix it, I could fix it. I could just think the right thought and I would feel better! For so many years I was so overcome with frustration that I didnt have answers and let it define who I was, and then felt SO defeated from not having it solved, fixed or answered for..... Well, for ALL I had in me, I could NEVER wish it away............. I can make ONE choice Ive learned, to let myself DEVELOP in each experience. NOPE, it didnt come easy, NOPE, I didnt like it, NOPE it didnt solve it my body still struggles, BUT I KNOW -- I CAN choose in the midst of not being able to talk, to walk, to move, to control my bodily functions, to care for myself. IN THE MIDST of that -- I AM still ME, Christine Marie, I STILL CHOOSE that it doesnt define, I wont let it define me, I wont let it defeat me, I WILL let it teach me to listen.. I will rest and care for myself and LOVE myself and be patient while I recover and be patient with myself. I will let others love on me (very hard to do, still learning. ;) ) Did your Plan A for life workout? What about Plan B, should I ask, C,D,E or maybe you are like me and all the way thru the alphabet and working on lapping around another time on a new set of A, B, Cs! Welp, thats WONDERFUL - JOIN me and the rest of us...Eve, Moses, Paul, the list could go on! Life is chocked FULL of good, bad and indifferent experiences friends :) Let us NOT be defeated by those, let those NOT define who we are, let us, let those experiences DEVELOP us! What can we learn from this, from each experience, how can it shape me to have more compassion, to be more sensitive to others in need, to love more, to share in one anothers pain. Who has lost hope? Let us hold others close who feel lost hope, choose hope with them, those who hurt, who need. let us hurt and need with them, let the light of Christ shine in me! Push - Press- Pursue the love of Christ. Let us LOVE one another in the midst of this workout we call life. #doinglifewithothersismuchmorefun I love you, Christine :)
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 15:25:34 +0000
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