Bahahahahaha 6:52 PM -If you have tickets to the game, and you’ve never attended a game in this place, you need to be in your seat at least 10 ten minutes before kickoff so you can see the incomparable entrance the Gamecocks possess. Instead of “The Most Exciting 25 Seconds in College Football” that Clemson has, and the networks like to film, the Gamecocks bring out their own unique entrance, which is what you get when have a tradition of “Four Whole Years of Football Excellence.” Take your seat, tell the mullet-wearing person sitting in front of you to take the Budweiser away from their 8-year old and sit down so you can see. Once that is accomplished, prepare to be amazed. The first thing you will notice is that they are about to play a movie, and that is why you hear the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. However, you will quickly realize that you aren’t going to see a movie, but these people actually use the music for football. 6:55 PM- Next, out comes a shower curtain on an elevated platform. DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED!!! Old lady Gamecocks are not behind the curtain!!! They cue the movie music again, the shower curtain shakes, and out pops a…wait for it…wait for it…a chicken in a dress!!!!! Yes, I know their masot is supposed to be a Gamecock, which is a male fighting bird. But this is the 21st century and the Democrats control the White House – he can wear a dress if he wants to!!! Meanwhile, the fans go nuts, most of them having never seen a chicken in a dress at their own homes. 6:58 PM - The next thing that happens is that the stadium personnel do a fire safety check, and they try and make sure that all of the fire extinguishers in the stadium are working, and they take them down to the tunnel where the players dress. Listen, I don’t get it either, but apparently they take fire safety very seriously in Lee Brice. For some dumb reason, the fire extinguisher check happens at the same time the Gamecocks run on the field, and they run on the field fairly quickly, probably hoping they prevent the chicken from taking his dress off. 7:05 PM - This is the official kickoff for the game. This is also a special moment, because they once again blast music from the loudspeakers, something called Hurricane or Tornado or Sandstorm, and they wave a bunch of towels around. BE CAREFUL OF THE TOWELS!!! If a call goes against them at some point, they will endeavor to throw towels on the field!!! Of course, with most of these students going to South Carolina, they don’t understand physics and the towels go about three rows. Collect a bunch and give them to your redneck friends at weddings.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Nov 2013 21:22:44 +0000
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