Barrys childhood obsessions had come back to haunt him like a thousand ghosts whispering into his demented mind. It had started as a mere curiosity,as most things do when your a child and everything is a question.But Barrys thirst for answers to this question would become the stuff of nightmarish legend and life long ridicule.(not to mention years of padded cells at the Saint Mucous home for for wayward boys).Barrys affliction was booger picking,eating,and collecting.By the time Barry was in his teens he had rap sheet a mile long,with the pages all stuck together. Yet no one could put the finger on him (it was us usually the other way around)and no one wanted to. Barry had broken into countless homes,stealing boogers from sleeping victims without ever waking them up.(He would later reveal his secret was that his fingers were as thin as q-tips and twice as soft) Barrys affinity to boogers was not limited to humans and this would be his ultimate downfall. Barry had broken into the Cincinnati Zoo to try and wrangle the biggest snot of his life from Zelda the Indian elephant while she slept.A massive mistake! The zoo keepers found Barry the next morning, half beaten to death with his arm so far up her trunk they had to give her a giant jar of sneezing powder to blow him out. After so many years of psychotherapy,and doses of thorazine, he had hoped his visions of crusty clothes and booger covered walls had diminished. Poor Barry the serial booger burglar from the Hamptons.Submitted for your approval.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 17:06:38 +0000
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