Be Happy in the Face of Physical Misery Think about what is making is unhappy, and if this were the case for the rest of your life, would you just be unhappy all the time? Consider people who have physical ailments all the time. There are plenty of people whose bodies are out of their control, who cannot physically feel good most of the time, who have illnesses and miseries every day. Most are very lucky compared to them. So here’s the process you should go through to help you be happier … with a note that you will constantly fail at this process and have to try it again. Were not perfect at it, but being perfect at it isn’t the point. Learning as you go through it is the point. 1. Let Go What are you holding onto? Most people hold onto two things mainly: the idea of themselves as healthy and comfortable, and the expectation that life should be without physical discomfort. It’s hard to let go of these things. Why let go of them? Because they are causing you more pain than the physical ailment itself. The real pain most go through is their inability to accept reality, and their desire for life to be a certain way. They want it their way. And when they can’t control that (which is pretty much all the time), they feel frustration, anger, depression, stress. Lots of stress. This applies to everything, not just physical ailments, but when anything doesn’t go the way they want it to. So what’s the process for letting go? It’s first, realizing that youre holding onto something, then second, realizing what it is youre holding onto, and third, realizing it’s causing you pain. Then fourth, realizing that the thing youre holding onto isn’t necessarily true. Most are not necessarily always a healthy people. Theyre not always in comfort. This isn’t the way life should be, and in fact it’s not the way life always is. This is a repeated process, because two minutes after letting go, most find themselves desiring it again. 2. Accept What Is Once you let go of what you want things to be, learn to accept reality. What is. This isn’t always easy. Reality doesn’t match up with most peoples fantasy/ideal of what life should be. You have to just see things for what they are, and accept them. Be grateful they are the way they are. Learn from what is. This can be difficult because we tend to want to control things, not accept. Acceptance is seen as surrendering, passive, giving up. And yes, it’s a bit of each of these. But it’s not the end. Just because you accept, doesn’t mean you act. It means you start with acceptance, then figure out the best way to act based on a place of peace and acceptance. Acceptance isn’t a bad thing. It’s a good thing. It means you’re at peace with reality. So stop running away from the current moment, and just try to see with curiosity what actually is. And it’s not as bad as you’d fear. The fear, the resistance, the not wanting, is by far the worst part. 3. Act With Gratitude & Compassion The next step in the process is to be grateful for what you have, and to act with compassion. What does this mean? When youre miserable, it’s because youre focusing on the things you see as “bad”. But youre ignoring all the things you should be grateful for: being alive, being able to walk, being able to love, being loved, having friends, having a job you love … the list is endless. You can find that gratitude, and focus on actions you can take that show that gratitude. If youre constantly complaining (internally) about how miserable you are, that’s not a grateful action. If instead you seize the awesome life you have and do something good with it, that’s showing your gratitude for what you have. Acting in compassion is what you should do when you have accepted the moment. Just because you let go and then accept doesn’t mean you don’t act. It means you start from a place of acceptance of what actually is, and then decide how to act from there. Compassion is a guide for how to act from that place. How do you act in compassion when your body is full of discomfort? Well, you can be compassionate with your body and take care of it. You can be compassionate with yourself and give myself rest if you need it. Or you can be compassionate with others, and stop focusing on yourself so much. You can find ways to alleviate the suffering of people around you, or find ways to take what youre learning and share it with all of them, and hope that it helps someone. Acting in compassion can take the focus off of yourself and put it somewhere that brings good in the world.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Jan 2014 05:35:21 +0000
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