Been doing a lot of reflecting this Sunday on things that have happened in recent weeks and about stuff in my head that has started swirling around.. When did life become so stressful? When did the daily grind become overwhelming? At what point did training and fitness get out of focus and I became more worried about others opinions? When did I stop having fun!!?? Yea..I thought I was still having fun with training, but the more I think about it I dont think I was - so worried about pleasing everyone else, tired of stressing about food when I have spent so long building a mind-set of not being food-obsessed and listening to advice from people that I second-guessed/having people not listen to me and what my goals/wants were and not listening when I was saying no. In time of reflection, I have thought back over the last couple years of my journey into a healthier and cleaner lifestyle & incorporating weight training - my times of biggest physical and emotional change came in just living the life and not over-thinking things. I look back at my second ever shoot with David Ford and one of my favorite photos where Im on the bench and *boom* theres my abs!! Where the heck did they go!!?? I havent seen abs like that again since. The last year of on and off again prepping has caused more stress about food than I thought it would. And while yes, after a year of hard ass work, there have been huge changes to my body and Ive finally built more muscle, I feel that the potential hasnt been reached. The love for simply eating and enjoying food for what it is and fuel has disappeared. I have also been finding that working out has been losing its fun side for me and that saddens me. I have decided that I want that back. The absolute passion and love of exercise and food that sparked such amazing changes in me in the first place. YES I still plan on competing next year.. My goal is to step on stage in June. But I am going to change my mindset and get back into the groove where magic happens.. of not having a specific diet but just enjoying our clean eating lifestyle we adapted.. and taking my training into my own hands. I am going to use this winter to design my own training and bust my own ass in our gym and get back to the basics of motivating myself and just wanting to be the best ME I can be. I am going to figure out what to supplement my training with, that I will enjoy - embrace the fitness challenge work outs with the ladies and embrace the community of our challenge classes... maybe look at some drop-in opportunities to change things up - maybe some spin, yoga..Surround myself with my family, my sponsor Catalyst Supplements, the amazingly strong and positive women and people who love me, support me, push me and accept me for who I am, And I am going to see what changes happen then. And when time comes to buckle down for stage prep in the spring, Ill figure out my next steps then and not burden myself with the worry right now. #reflect #accept #life #change
Posted on: Sun, 20 Oct 2013 21:56:26 +0000
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