Before Christ came into my life I was a typical “Enabler” Back in the 70′s getting pregnant before marriage not only brought shame and disgrace to the family but to the child as well. The only way to make things right was to get married, but it was pretty obvious that wasn’t going to happen. As days turned into weeks, I knew without a doubt I needed to tell my parents about the pregnancy but I didn’t know how. One night while mom and I were watching TV, she asked me why I hadn’t been going out with my friends. As the tears began to fill up in my eyes, I said, “I don’t know, I just haven’t felt like it”. As Mom looked up she realized I was crying, and said, “Are you pregnant? Immediately I said, “yes!” Although I was relieved the cat was out of the bag, it was very hard to talk about. As mom gave me a hug, and told me, “you know we have to tell your dad. Telling Mom was fine but having to tell my dad was a whole other story. As mom went to the bedroom and woke dad. He got up and came into the living room wanting to know what was going on? Without hesitation, I blurred it out, “I’m pregnant”. Although Dad was shocked, he was very compassionate and understanding, which was totally opposite of what I was expecting. Dad asked me what Keith thought about the pregnancy. When I told him Keith did not want anything to do with me or the pregnancy, it didn’t sit well with Dad. Immediately Dad started calling around trying to find Keith. Finally, about 12:30am Keith called. My dad answered the phone and told him they needed to talk right away. Within minutes I heard a knock on the door. It was Keith. Dad told me to go to bed as he wanted to talk to Keith alone. As I lay in bed crying, all I could hear was yelling and shouting. It was very clear the line had been drawn. After numerous family meetings and little to no communication between Keith and I, it was time once again for another family meeting. By now I was about six months pregnant. Keith and his mom were suppose to come over to our house about 2pm. As Laura pulled up, it was clear she was alone. Once my dad realized Keith was not in the car, he was outraged. As Laura started walking toward the front door Dad started yelling, “Where’s your son?” As Laura tried to explain, Dad continued yelling even louder, which only made the situation worse. As I stood by the door, Laura told me Keith wanted me to call him. Mentally exhausted from all the yelling and screaming I went into the bedroom and called Keith. ”Hello”, “What’s up?” Out of the blue Keith said, “Do you want to get married in two weeks?” Without a second thought I said, “yes”. Although I was relieved and somewhat thankful we were getting married. The uncertainty of our relationship was still something I couldn’t ignore. Although it appeared to be a answer to my prayers and a way out of the chaos I was living in. But unfortunately I was only going from one controlling environment right into another. Right away, Keith informed me we were going to Reno to get married and his brother and sister-in- law were going with us. Keith also made it clear no one else was invited. The exclusion of my sister really broke my heart, but not wanting to rock the boat, I agreed. Keith’s mother had a house which was used as a rental property. She agreed to let Keith and I Rent it which really worked out nice. At the time, Keith was working full time at the meat packing plant from 4pm to midnight. The night before we were to be married, Keith asked me if I wanted to spend the night at the house. We were leaving early the next morning, so I agreed. From the moment Keith asked me to get married, you could count on one hand how many times we were together prior to the wedding. It was definitely not a match made in Heaven, but I felt I had to make it right regardless of the consequences. Leaving my parents home was bitter sweet. It was very clear to me there would be no going back. “I had made my bed and now I had to lay in it.” This was truly the reality I had to accept. As I arrived at the house not only was I nervous, but clueless what to expect. Already in bed when Keith arrived home from work, I pretended to be asleep. The next morning about 6:00am Keith’s brother and sister-in-law came by and picked us up. We were on our way. Quiet as a mouse, you could hear a pin drop. The silence in the car seemed to have a voice of it’s own. After a few hours, Max, Keith’s brother decided we should stop for breakfast. Feeling nervous and nauseous I couldn’t eat. By the time we arrived in Reno, Max and Keith didn’t waste any time letting me know how this would all transpire. Although I thought it would be nice to get married in a chapel, Keith informed me we were going to get married at the justice of the peace. Once we got our marriage license, we walked over to the justice of the peace, a few blocks away. As we stood in line waiting our turn, my stomach was in knots. Within two minutes of the clerk calling our names, we were married… wham bam thank you ma’am!! As we walked out of the court house, I will never forget Keith walking on one side of the sidewalk and I on the other. No one would have ever guessed we had just been married. What should have been the happiest day of my life turned out to be one of the saddest. The following day we were on our way home and by Monday, Keith was back at work. Still unsure about our relationship, I tried to do whatever I could to please him, fearful of making him angry. Clueless what it meant to be a wife, I continued to cope the best way I knew…one day at a time ..
Posted on: Sat, 22 Jun 2013 23:00:16 +0000
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