COMING OUT OF THE LITERARY CLOSET----------Never thought that I would become this literary brazen but as I grow closer day by day to my meeting with mortality there are confessions to be made. Having been raised a simple little Catholic boy whose Grandmother wanted me to become a priest, and while admitting had it not been for the Missionary Servants of the Most Blessed Trinity (nuns for my Protestant friends), I would probably be communicating with you from Folsom Prison or Atmore in Alabama. Those ladies along with George Duck and Nona Wampler had a lot to do with thje way I talk today. I have worked those outdoor summer construction jobs while in high school and college and was more than able to comprehend the language of my summer heroes understanding full well none of them probably studied English,grammar or British Literature under Sister Maureen Francis, Sister Mary Ignatius, Nona Wampler or George Duck. However, in my maturing years , along with the disintegration of America certain word usage has surfaced that would make my mentors cringe. The one selected for this epistle is pee.Had I used that word selection at St. Patricks School I would have been sitting on the porch at recess for the entire academic year with no access to overpriced ice cream. When feeling the urge to go you were taught to raise your hand and keep it raised until you passed out or suffered a stroke. The Missionary Servants never had to go to the bathroom or went just once or twice a month I was told. Maybe the reason so few young ladies enter the convent nowadays. Now to move on to that unacceptable word which represents that miraculous process in which the kidneys process and remove water, urea, sodium chloride, potassium chloriude, phosphates, uric acid and organic salts. Seeing as how it has become accepted as part of the everyday national vernacular , I choose to remain a linguistic prude.Among the most important words like Diddy that I taught my angelic daughter were the grammatically acceptable terms for the processes by which the body rids itself of waste, urination and defecation. I felt that she, by chance might not become a nun and resultingly need to be familiar with such and to this day she is. Oh yes number 1 and tee tee can be used until phonetically mastering ur-in-ation and def-e-cation. I leave you with this this thought, if American use of the once proud English language continues to deteriorate at the rate we see today, pee as used by Dr. Oz, Television advertisements,television programs etc will not be the only bodily function addressed so casually. Use your imagination. God I hope my daughter does not see this. Let the Church say amen.
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 02:41:14 +0000
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