Called the care center today around noon. I had planned to go see Little Mama today but I found a big cut in my tire Saturday morning, so its parked until I can get a new tire on Monday. They told me LM was up and around, seemingly satisfied and enjoying some special music with the other residents they had today. Then I get a call a couple of hours ago telling me that my Little Mama has gone back into one of her down times and was in a panic trying to get out of the place to go to her mother. she said something about her mother was sick or hurt and needing her. And then she kept saying she needed to get to Wilburton, OK., which makes even less sense because her parents never lived there. Thats where her cousins lived. And she was refusing to eat or drink because she needed to pack and she got dehydrated... fell again, and this time on the back of her head close to the crown. They took her to ER again... and the hospital is keeping her tonight and putting her on an IV to get some fluids in her. So this is whats left of her life and I cant even get to the hospital to see her, which probably is just as well. She wouldnt know me anymore than she did the other day when shes in this state. Her life is now all about confusion, fear, and suffering, and every now and then a day when shes in wait mode for another round of manic behavior to rise. It is such a sad way for a good life to end. I am downhearted right now that her days are mostly about fear, panic, and pain. I knew it was coming, but selfishly prayed that she would die before it got to this. I wished she would be spared this. Obviously, it is not to be. So, I accept this because it is HER path. I will grieve for her now and I will rejoice when she takes her last breath, knowing what joy awaits her when that moment comes. I can only imagine Little Mamas state of being right now and hope they have her sedated. For me, it is a very dark night.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 04:00:59 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015