Change is probable. This point is related to the first one. If you can tell that your partner has achieved genuine growth and insight from this painful experience, then you may want to at least hear out your partner’s request for a second chance. But the real question is not whether or not the person is sorry—that’s not enough. The real question is whether you genuinely believe that real change is probable (not possible) and that you’re both willing to put in the hard work it requires. There really are extenuating circumstances. Be careful with this point, because you don’t want to talk yourself into offering a second chance just because the other person uses the “It wasn’t my fault” line. But there really are times when some sort of unusual situation arises that helps explain why someone doesn’t act they way that person usually would (or should). So at least be willing to consider this possibility. You receive enough benefits and rewards from the relationship that you’re willing to forgive and work through this problem. Let’s face it: Any relationship is going to have its share of problems. And we put up with them because we like the good we receive along with those problems. So decide just how much you’re willing to put up with and figure out how much you’re getting from the relationship. But remember: It’s never OK to stay in a relationship where you’re being mistreated or repeatedly receiving disrespect.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Sep 2013 16:23:25 +0000
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