Chapter nine-In the end. Justtin made his way to where he found Barry and Penny in tears, and surrounded by small fires. “ Now see what you’ve done,” said Pug. “ You’ve upset the lady, and the girlie.” “ What?” said Barry, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “ I never said a word,” said Justtin. “ Where’s Zed and Bert?” Penny howled and started to cry all over again. “ I’m afraid they’re both dead,” said Barry wiping his nose again. “ They just sort of blew up.” “ Yeah, alright lad. Don’t keep going on about it,” said Bert. “ Hello, Jus,” said Zed. “ Come and join us.” “ Join us?” said Bert. “ Are you having a laugh, or what? What’s he gonna use, glue?” “ But I can still hear them,” said Justtin. “ I can too,” said Barry. “ They’re ghosts.” “ Wicked,” said Pug. “ You don’t have a moral bone in your body, do you,” Justtin said to the dog. “ Not that I can vouch for,” said Pug. “ He does talk,” said Zed. “ What?” said Barry, as he turned round, trying to work out which direction Zed’s voice was coming from. “ Pug,” said Zed. “ I can hear him talking.” “ Yeah, me too,” said Bert. “ That’s blown the laugh’s for me then,” said Pug. “ Now what am I going to do?” “ Stick to putting out fires,” said Justtin. “ There’s a couple of small ones over there to be getting on with, while I figure out what’s going on here.” “ As good as done,” said Pug, as he turned himself into something resembling a canine whirlwind, and happily sprayed away the flames. Justtin did a quick scan, and found dad behind a second door. “ How did he get in there?” asked Justtin. “ I have a theory,” said Zed. “ I think he was trying to make his way out, when the blast knocked him back in.” “ So the blast was for no reason then,” said Barry. “ That’s what I reckon,” said Zed. “ Bastard,” said Bert. “ This gets funnier by the minute,” said Pug, as he returned from fire duty. “ So all we’ve got to do is open the door and get him out,” said Justtin. “ Can you do it?” Barry asked. “ I’ll try anything once,” said Justtin. “ Does that mean, if it don’t work, you’re giving up?” asked Pug. Zed sniggered. “ He’s funny, isn’t he?” he said. “ Bloody hilarious,” said Bert. Justtin had already moved to the door, and had scanned it once again. “ Well, here goes,” he said. A small panel opened on his arm, and he produced a large key. He inserted the key in the lock, and turned it. SNAP. The key broke in two. “ Nuts,” said Justtin. “ Ok, plan B.” “ How many plans do you have?” asked Pug. “ 26,” said Justtin. “ One for each letter of the alphabet.” “ Glad to see you came well prepared,” said Pug. “ So what does plan B involve?” “ This little beauty,” said Justtin, as another panel slid open, and out came a diamond tip drill bit. “ Now, that is impressive,” said Pug, as he watched Justtin drill a large hole next to the door hinge. Minutes later, the door was more holes than wood, and Justtin decided that that was probably enough. He put away his drill bit, and moved back from the door. “ Now what?” asked Barry. “ We wait,” said Justtin. “ What for?” asked Barry. ATCHOO! sneezed Penny, loudly. “ That,” said Justtin, as he and Barry watched the door collapse and crumble into a heap on the floor. “ It was only a matter of time,” said Justtin. “ The door was rotten. The dog’s breath would have had the same effect.” “ Charming,” said Pug. “ No offence meant,” said Justtin. “ Lots taken, you big dustbin,” said Pug. “ Dustbin?” said Barry. “ Why did I just hear the word ‘dustbin’?” “ It was Pug,” said Zed. “ See, I told you, didn’t I?” “ You mean he really can talk?” Barry asked whoever was still listening. “ Yes,” said Justtin, “ but for some reason you can only hear selective words.” “ And I thought it was Bert throwing his voice,” said Barry. “ Told you, didn’t I, you big goon,” said Pug. “ He really is very funny,” said Zed. “ Why, what’s he saying?” asked Barry. “ It’s probably better that you don’t know,” said Zed. “ Let’s go and get your dad.” “ Oh yeah,” said Barry, suddenly remembering why he was there. He clambered over the rubble and made his way through the door, and with his torch beam shining straight ahead, he picked out the shape he’d been looking for. Justtin and Pug came in behind Barry, and stared at a blackened face staring back at them. “ Dad Trotter, I presume,” said Justtin. “ Er, yeah. Who the bloody hell are you?” said dad, feeling disorientated and tired, after spending more than a day trapped in the dark. “ Dad, it’s me. Barry.” “ My God. You’ve grown up,” said dad. “ Sorry,” said Barry. “ I had to.” “ I could do with a drink,” said dad. “ He might as well have my beers,” said Bert. “ I ain’t gonna need ‘em.” “ And food. Have you got anything to eat.” Barry offered him a Mars bar. “ Here, chew on this,” said dad’s eldest. “ That’s Justtin. Don’t you remember him?” “ That’s never Justtin,” said dad. “ He never had legs, and he wasn’t claret and blue. Which reminds me, how are the Hammers doing?” “ Don’t ask,” said Barry. “ As bad as that,” said dad. “ I said don’t ask,” said Barry. “ Let’s get you out of here, and I’ll explain everything on the way.” “ Where’s Zed?” asked dad. “ I’m here,” said the ghost. “ And me,” said Bert. “ What happened to you two?” asked dad. “ They never could handle explosions very well,” said Justtin. “ Just lead the way, will you,” Barry said to Justtin. “ Righty-o,” said Justtin. “ Come on Pugly. I’ll show you how to get out.” “ You don’t have to tell me twice,” said the dog. “ It stinks down here. Even when he’s dead, he stinks.” “ Sod off,” said Bert. “ I know you’re talking about me.” “ I wonder why death sharpened his hearing?” said Pug. “ No idea,” said Justtin. “ I can’t explain everything.” “ I told you I would explain everything,” said Barry. “ Only I don’t know where to start.” “ Blimey,” said Pug. “ Barry can hear you as well. I wish we could go back a few hours. I was having so much fun.” Dad and Barry emerged into the daylight and dad had to shield his eyes from the bright glare. Penny met them by the van, and having said hello, put a blanket around dad’s shoulders. “ Thanks love,” said dad. “ I didn’t think I was going to get out of there.” “ I thought I would,” said Bert. “ At least in one piece.” ************** The band sat in the hotel, watching T.V. and waited for the phone to ring. “ I wonder where Pat got to,” said Ade. “ You know what he’s like,” said Mick. “ He’s probably gone on a cruise, or something. He’ll turn up eventually. He always does.” “ Yeah, you’re right,” said Ade. The telephone started to sing to itself in the background, and seconds later, Ade was talking to Barry. “ Hey, manager dude. What’s happening?” “ Did they phone you?” Barry asked. “ Who?” asked Ade. “ The people from the Cruise ship,” Barry lied. “ Not heard a thing,” said Ade. “ Why?” “ So you haven’t heard then.” “ No. What?” “ Apparently the boat sank, so we’re going back to Romford until something else comes up.” “ We’ve been watching T.V. all day. We’ve not seen anything.” “ What channel have you got it on?” Barry asked. “ The BBC.” “ Ah, well that’s why then. Sky have the exclusive. Anyway, we’re on our way to pick you up. See you in about an hour, ok?” “ Er, yeah. No problem.” The line went dead. “ Gig’s off lads,” said Ade. “ Apparently the boat sank.” “ Probably the same one Pat was on,” said Mick. ************** “ You lying git,” said Zed. “ Well, I had to tell them something,” said Barry. “ The boat sank?” said Zed. “ Even they will see through that.” “ Look,” said Barry, “ I’ve got my dad back, after twenty five years. Do you really think I give a shit about the band? This wasn’t about them, this was all about me, finding my dad. And now I’ve found him, nothing else matters.” “ That’s a fair point, I suppose,” said Zed. “ I wish I could drink. I really fancy one right now.” “ You could always have some spirits,” said Barry. ************** The phone call came early the following week, and Barry answered it. “ Hello,” he said. “ Er, hello there,” said a posh voice. “ Can I speak to Barry Trotter?” “ Speaking,” said Barry. “ This is Mark Williams, head of programming at the BBC. I was wondering if you would like to come in and be interviewed by Michael Parkinson?” “ Wow, er, yeah, why not,” said a stunned Barry. “ We believe you have a fascinating story, and we are convinced that the viewing public will be as blown away, as we were when we heard it.” “ Cool,” said Barry. “ When and where?” “ We’ll send a car for you on Monday, and record the show that night. All things going well, it will be aired on Friday.” “ Ok,” said Barry. “ See you then.” “ Yes, goodbye,” said Mark Williams. “ Bye,” said Barry and punched the air with delight, only to smash the light shade, and shower himself with glass. “ Must get that fixed,” he said. ************** The car arrived, as arranged, and whisked Barry off to the T.V. centre, where he was greeted by the show’s producer. Barry was shown around the complex, and then taken to the studio, where later in the day, The Parkinson Show was to be recorded. “ So,” said Barry, “ is there some kind of rehearsal?” “ No, no,” said the producer. “ No rehearsal. Michael is a true professional. He doesn’t mess about with silly things like rehearsals.” “ So how does he know if things are going ok?” Barry asked. “ We tell him,” said the producer. “ But what if something goes wrong?” asked Barry. “ We don’t tell him,” said the producer. “ Fair enough,” said Barry. Barry was then taken to a small room close to the studio, to get his make up done. “ When you’ve finished here, someone will take you to the green room, where you can relax, and have a drink or two, while you wait for Michael to interview you.” “ Will it be long?” Barry asked. “ Why? Do you have something else planned?” “ Just got to get back and feed my Aunt,” said Barry. Damn, thought Barry, I meant to say dog. “ You’re weird,” said the producer, and left Barry at the mercy of the make up artist. Half an hour later, Barry was in the green room, and sipping on his first pint, when somebody came in and asked him if his name was Rod Stewart. He pointed out the singer, and went back to his drink. Two pints later, he was approached by the same somebody. “ Mr. Trotter?” the girl asked. “ It is,” said Barry. “ We’re ready for you.” “ Lead the way,” said Barry, slipping off his chair and landing on his bottom. The girl helped him up, to rapturous applause from Rod. “ Thanks,” he said to the girl. “ Sit on this and swivel,” he said to Rod Stewart, as he stuck his middle finger up. Old twat, thought Barry. Feckin’ idiot, thought Rod. The girl led him along the corridor to the studio, and took him behind the set. “ Wait here while Michael does his introduction, then when the applause starts, you go out.” “ Ok,” said Barry, feeling a little nervous. “ Please welcome, Barry Trotter,” said Parky. Barry headed toward the applause, and as he came down the stairs, he saw Parky. He made a beeline straight for him, very conscious of how he was walking, and got to Parky without incident. Barry shook Parky’s hand and took his seat. “ So,” said Parky, “ welcome to the show. It’s a fantastic story of a man’s undying love for his father, so let’s get some background. How did it all start?” “ Well, if you must know,” said Barry, “ it started at the end.” ***** The other end *****
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 22:10:44 +0000
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