Chapter sixty eight Siye sajongana noTata. Heee hayini bethu lo Mama. Ngoku apakishayo ebengesathukiseli mntakabawo...ethuka uTata...mna...Cinga...usapho luka Tata...ndithi ebesibiza ngamagama. Iye yandicaphukisa kele yokuba athuke uCinga...how can she swear at the dead? And uCinga zange enze nto erongo kuye. Bendizova ukuba wathathelwa indoda ngu Cinga. Yena wafika uCinga sele eno Tata and uCinga zange athi uTata amshiye...ngu Tata owazikhethelayo. So she must blame him...not Cinga...and not even me. I didnt ask to be born...I didnt ask to be loved by my father more then her...I didnt ask to be a duplicate of my mother...hayi bendifana naye shame...kakhulu futhi. Yes I felt sorry for her...I can imagine how she feels...not being able to have children...and the man you love, loves someone else...it must be devastating phofu I know how it feels...not long I was in that type of marriage with Siyabonga. To treat me the way she has been treating me was plain cruel shame. She wanted me to go back to Siyabonga so that I could have no happiness...she loved the fact that I was miserable with Siyabonga...she wanted me to be miserable just like her. So iyamcaphukisa lento yokuba ndifumene indoda endonwabisayo...nendikhathelelayo ngoba kaloku yena zange azifumane ezozinto kuTatam. Kodwa wayefuna athini uTata shame? You cant force someone to love you...ukuba akakufuni akakufuni qa qwaba noba ungenza ntoni. Kodwa ifamily zethu ziyasifaka ezintweni ngoba ikwayile family eyatshatisa ababantu bengathandani...eventually Nonceba fell in love with my father but my father had one woman in his heart. Its a cruel world I tell you. They say love is a sweet and beautiful thing...yes it is but they never mention the suffering, pain, sorrow and hard work that comes along with it. uTata uye wahlala ecankwam ebhedini samamela uNonceba esithuka...ebekhala nokhala...it was just too sad...for her though. Mhlawumbi abanye benu bazothi ndirongo ngokuthetha ngalendlela ndithetha ngaye ngoba uNonceba practically raised me. Yes she raised me and I will be forever grateful for that...she did a good job but Im not her punching bag...actually were all not her punching bags. She must stop blaming people for not being able to have children...zange simkhuphe isibeleko thina...zange simthakathe ukuze angabi nabantwana...life happened qa and ke ebomini not all of us will have the things we want...some get some and some lose some...thats just the principal of life...life is balanced that way. I know it might not be kind toward your ears but its the truth...youve gotta accept what you have...stop focusing on the things you dont have and focus on the other things that God has blessed you with and youll realize that they are more valuable or more precious then the things you dont have. Anyway uNonceba ebengesathukiseli ngoku ebekhala qa...uye warhuqa ibhegi yakhe wama ngasemnyango werum yam...ubuso bugcwele iinyembezi...imifinya izihlela. Mama:Ndiyahamba Mandilakhe. Akathetha uTata...ebejonge izandla zakhe...Ndithi ndiyahamba Mandilakhe. She raised her voice. Tata:Okay. She stood there not knowing if she should go or stay. Ebejonge uTata...andazi noba ebelindele ukuba amnqande athi makangahambi...Ufuna ndikuse ezitaxini? Watsho uTata esidaleni. Mama:Ha.a ungazihluphi. Andifuni ukukutyela ipetrol. Tata:Heee madoda. Okay ke Nonceba...uhambe kakuhle mfazi wam. Uye wandijonga uNonceba akathetha nam ndabe ndimjongile. Mama:Inoba uyavuya nhe? Me:Ndizovuyiswa yintoni? Mama:Lento ndihamba. Kudala ungandifuni kaloku. Me:Heee hayi Mama. Benditsho nini ukuba andikufuni? Nguwe umntu ubungandihoyi. Ubundijonga nje ingathi andiyonto noba ndiyazama ukuthetha nawe ungabonisi interest. Wathula. Mama:Okay ke bhabhayini. Tata:Iza ndikukhuphe mfazi. Waphakama uTata. Mama:Andifuni ukukhutshwa nguwe mna. Ufuna ukundihlaza ngababantu balapha abathanda indaba. Tata:Yho okay ke. Waphinda wahlala phantsi uTata...bendibona ukuba udikwe yiyo yonke lento yena...Uzungathi xa ufika kokwenu uthi ndikugxothile. Uzihambele Nonceba...khange tu ndikugxothe. Mama:Andizuhlala kwindlu endingafunwa kuyo mna. Tata:Awufunwa ngubani? Benditshilo mna ndathi andikufuni? Heh Nonceba...benditshilo? Cwaka uNonceba... Mama:Mandihambe. Tata:Okay bhabhayi. Unayo imali yokukhwela phofu? Watsho ekhupha isipaji sakhe epokothweni uTata. Mama:Andifuni mali yakho mna. Uye warhuqa isuitcase uNonceba wayophuma phandle...sava igate ivuleka iphinda ivaleka...she was gone. No one said anything for a long time...noImi oko ethule edlala ngeminwe yakhe. uTata uye waphakama wathi uyozenzela isonka...mna ndiye ndagalela amanzi okuhlamba ebhafini for mna noImi...besizokuhlamba sobabini...sakhulula sangena ebhafini sahlamba...sagqiba...saya erumini sathambisa sanxiba. uImi waya kuTata eliving room mna ndashiyeka erumini kwi study corner sam...ndiye ndavula idiary yam and I looked at the picture of my mother...I wished she was here yazi... Ixesha liye lahamba...uZolani uye wafowna wathi uyifumene iflight qa ngeya late...uzofika ngo 20:00 ebusuku so kofuneka uTata eyomthatha eairport...phofu siyomthatha eairport. Oko bendihleli erumini yam ndicinga...oko ndigqibele ekuseni ukutya...umzimba wam ebediniwe...amehlo am ebuhlungu nentloko...kaloku khange ndilale. Ndiye ndasela ipilisi zentloko...intloko ibibhetelane yona. Kuye kwatsho iknock kumnyango we rum yam...Im sure nguTata lowo...I sighed. Me:Ngena Tata. Wavuleka umnyango...uTata ebephethe itray okunokutya...Andilambanga Tata. Tata:Funeka utyile Lele. Oko ubugqibele ekuseni ukutya. Me:Andilambanga Tata. Tata:Lele ndakucela mntanam. Me:Andilambanga. He sighed. Tata:Lele uzoyeka nini ukundiqumbela mntanam? Ndathula...Ndicela undixolele Lele. Cwaka...Lele mntanam. Cwaka...Indophula intliziyo lento yakho yokuba undiqumbele...awuthethi nam kodwa mna ndifuna ukuthetha nawe... Ilizwi lakhe belingcangcazela...uye wacimela waphinda wavula amehlo...amehlo akhe ebegcwele iinyembezi. Me:Ndicela ungayenzi lento uyenzayo. Tata:Eyiphi mntanam? Me:Le ye emotional blackmail. Tata:Ufuna ndide ndithini Lele ukuze undixolele? Me:I just need space Tata to process yonke lento. Its just too much to take in. Wanqwala. Tata:Ndiyakuva Lele kodwa ndicela utye. I breathed. Me:Okay. Wancuma...wandinika itray...Enkosi. Waphuma erumini... Bendisatya ndinjalo...ndicotha nokucotha ke phofu...inoba iphelile i30minutes oko ndisitya...iyeyakhala ifowni yam...ibiyi number endingayaziyo. Eish kanjani andikho se moodini yokuthetha...nonetheless I picked up... Me:Hello. Caller:Hello Azosule mntanam ndim uDabawo wakho uNomakwethu. Ndothuka kancinci...khange ndimcinge ukuba angandifownela. Me:Oh molo Dabawo unjani? Dabawo Nomakwethu:Ndiphilile mntaka Bhut akhonto unjani wena? Phofu ngumbuzo onjani lowo...ndiqinisekile awukhoryt...ndicela uxolo mntanam ndikonile mna nomlomo wam omkhulu. Me:Akhonto Da-. Dabawo Nomakwethu:Bekungafanelanga uyive ngelahlobo into enkulu kangako. Ndiyakholwa uzondixolela mntanam. Me:Ndiyavuya ukuba ndiye ndakuva Dabs ngoba ukuba bendinga khange ndikuve ngendingayazi inyani nangoku ndisebumnyameni. Dabawo Nomakwethu:Kodwa bekufanele uyive ngoYihlo kuqala mntanam. Me:Okay ke Dabs...akhonto ndikuxolele. Dabawo Nomakwethu:Enkosi sthandwa sam. Bhabhayi ke. Me:Bhabhayi Dabs. She hung up. Ndiye ndagqibezela ukutya kwam ndayokubeka itray ekitshini esinkini. uImi ebebukele itivi. Ndiye ndaya kuye ndamphuza esidleleni kaninzi...ebendipusha esithi ndiyamsitha etivini. Kuye kwa betha u17:30 ndaqalisa ukupheka idinari. Ndagqiba pha ngo 19:00...ngo 19:30 saya eairport. Besilinde emotweni...uImi ebelele ebackseat...wabetha u20:00. Tata:Hambo mlinda Lele phakathi. Me:Okay. Ndaphuma emotweni...ndaqobosha isilambha...bekubanda shame. Ndayongena ngaphakathi eairport. Ndiye ndalinda kancinci until I saw him approaching me...I dont know why but when I saw him I just got emotional...ndajonga phantsi...ndaciphiza iinyembezi...ndazisula...ndamjonga...I could see worry written all over his face. He finally reached where I was standing and we embraced for a long time...I was sniffing like nobodys business...ndimbambe ndimthe nqii. He brushed my back. Zolani:Shhh ndilapha Riri wam. Yonke into izobaryt. Bendicimele ndiwavale ncaa amehlo am...Thula kaloku Riri...thula sthandwa sam. I finally calmed down...sayekana. Me:Iza ndikubambise. Ndatsho ndisula iinyembezi zam. Zolani:Hayi ndiryt mfazi wam. Me:Ndifuna ukuphathisa njena...please. Uye wandinika ibhegi yakhe...it wasnt heavy at all. Sajongana...wancuma. Zolani:Awusemhle. Me:Hayi sudlala ngam please. Zolani:Nyani Riri. Kissie? Ndangcotsha ndamphuza...ndithe ndizobhekela he pulled me in and we kissed passionately...sayeka...Uphi unyana wam? Me:Ulele lowo emotweni. Wahleka...Iza masambe. He held my hand and we went to the car...Unjani umntanam? Zolani:Uryt Riri...she wanted to come with. Me:Ngewuzenaye ke bonanje ndiyamkhumbula. Zolani:New Years is around the corner. Me:Mmm. uTata uye waphuma...babulisana noZolani..uTata wavula iboot ndafaka ibhegi ka Zolani ndayivala. Ndiye ndakhwela ebackseat uZolani wakhwela efront seat. Endleleni egodukayo oko ndithule...uTata noZolani bebethetha...catching up. Safika endlini...I carried Imi inside the house ndayombeka phezukwe bhedi...ndamkhulula izihlangu, ibheukhwe nejersy washiyeka ngesikipa. uZolani ungene nebhegi yakhe ndizavula ingubo. Zolani:Ndilala apha nani mos? Me:Nope ndikulungisele enye irum. Zolani:Hayi Riri ndizolala ndedwa? Me:Yintoni ingxaki? Umdala fondini ungalala wedwa. Zolani:Hayi ndiyoyika tshini. Ndahleka kancinci. Me:Mxm. Zolani:Its good to see you smile. Me:Awulambanga? Zolani:Ndilambe ndiyafa. Me:Okay ndizophaka ngoku ngoku. Ndiye ndafaka uImi ezingubeni ndithe ndizophuma uZolani wandibamba ingalo wandenza ukuba ndimjonge. Zolani:Lento ikuhluphayo inoba inkulu ngoba you look horrible. Me:Uthi ndimbi? Wahleka kancinci. Zolani:Ha.a. You look drained maarn. Me:I didnt sleep last night. Zolani:Ndikukhuphise iitapile namhlanje okanye ngomso? Me:Ngomso torho...dont want to talk about it tonight. Zolani:Okay ke Riri wam. Wandiphuza kaninzi emlonyeni...Ndakuthanda. Me:Nam. Ndiye ndaya ekitshini ndayophaka...uZolani ebehleli noTata eliving. Nje ndiphaka oko ndizamla into engapheliyo...bendidinwe nyani...bekunzima nokunyusa icephe lokuphaka. I warmed the food in the microwave and I served them their plates. Ndiye ndahlala phantsi ecanko Zolani. Zolani:Awuzutya wena. Me:Ha.a ndiryt mna. Wandijonga uTata. Zolani:You sure? Ndanqwala...Ugqibele nini ukutya? Me:So Im a child now? Zolani:Khange nditsho Riri...Im just asking. Me:Ndithe ndiryt mos! I snapped. Tata:Lele. I breathed. Me:Im sorry. uZolani wanqwala ejonge eplate(ini) yakhe. I felt bad kengoku...I didnt want to snap at him. Oko ndizamla ngoku batyayo...bendiphelile sana yho. Baye bagqiba ukutya ooTata...ndithe ndizophakama ndithathe iplates zabo ndizise ekitshini uZolani wandinqanda. Uye wazisa ngokwakhe ekitshini...waphathela noTata ifayidukhwe...waphindela ekitshini ndamlandela. Zolani:Khange ndithi hlala phantsi. Me:Ndifuna ukunigalelela ijuice. Zolani:Ndingayenza nam lonto. Me:Im capable Zolani. Zolani:Riri khawuyohlala phantsi maarn awuziboni uyi walking zombie wena. Hamba hamba. Wandityhala ndaphuma ekitshini ndabuyela esitting room ndahlala phantsi. Wangena uZolani ne glass ezine juice for yena noTata...wanika uTata eyakhe...wahlala phantsi. Tata:Funeka uyolala Lele uyaphela kwesositulo. Zolani:Makahambe ayonxiba ipijama. Me:Mk hayi. Ndaphakama ndaya erumini ndakhulula ndihleli phantsi...ndanxiba ipijama zam...ushorti ne vesti ne gown. Ndaya ekitshini ndazigalela amanzi ndawasela ndiwagongqoza. Ndaya eliving room...Ndiyolala bethuna...goodnighthini. Tata:Goodnight Lele. Zolani:Ndisafuni ukuthetha noTata Riri ndiyeza. Ndanqwala. Ndaya erumini ndafika ndakhulula igown ndacima isibane ndangena ezingubeni ndadlala igame efownini...I wasnt going to sleep without my man. Esidaleni sendimanu ncimela ngoku uye wangena erumini walayita isibane ndacuthisa amehlo am...Sorry Riri. Watsho ehlebeza. Uye wakhulula ibrukhwe yakhe ne jacket nesikipa...washiyeka ne boxers zakhe ne vesti. Ndiye ndabhekelisa uImi ngase dongeni...ndabhekelela uZolani...wacima isibane wazongena ezingubeni. I put my head on his chest...he wrapped his arms around my waist... Me:Uye wathini uTata kuwe? Zolani:Nothing much...besithetha izinto zethu. Me:Mmm. Ndazamla...Im sorry I snapped at you earlier on. Zolani:Kulungile Maroro wam. Ndancuma...Awufuni ukulala phezukwam? Me:Ndafuna.. Zolani:Khwela ke. Ndakhwela phezukwakhe...ndalala ngesisu...intloko yam ibisegxalabeni lakhe...imilenze yam iphakathi kwemilenze yakhe. I was so comfortable...Lala ke bhabha omncinci ka Ta Zet. Ndancuma. Me:Baby. Ndatsho esidaleni. Zolani:Yes Riri. Me:Im glad youre here. Zolani:Me too..........
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 04:43:09 +0000
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