Christmas may soon be known as Chrismukkah. Continuing the current trend of cost saving and mergers, due to Obamacare and other liberal restrictive taxes and burdensome regulations, Christmas and Hanukkah are looking to merge. While details were not available at press time, some say the deal had been in the works for about 2000 years. It is believed that the overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of Hanukkah separate was becoming cost prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces, were told, the people will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality service during the Twenty-eight Days of Chrismukkah, as the new holiday is being called. Chrismukkah will run from the Friday after Thanksgiving to December 25th. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreidel’s currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by English. NOTE: [For those of you without Jewish relatives, a dreidel is a four-sided spinning top with a Hebrew letter on each side, traditionally used during Hanukkah to play a popular childrens game... The four sides with one Hebrew letter on each side. Each of these letters begins a word. The four letters are: • Nun – the first letter of the word nes, which means miracle • Gimmel – the first letter of gadol, which means great • Hey – the first letter of haya, which means was and • Shin – the first letter of sham, which means there When taken together, these letters proclaim A great miracle happened there. The new Dreidel will be in English, with changes in the translation to a more generic saying like, ‘Miraculous stuff was processing’ or ‘Good Shit Happens Sometimes” ... One of the sticking points holding up the agreement was the question of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa, a big breakthrough came when Oreos were finally declared to be Kosher, all sides appeared happy about this and a deal may soon be made. A spokesman for Christmas, declined to say whether a takeover of Kwanzaa might also be in the works, he pointed out that the existence of Kwanzaa is relatively new, but for now it’s not yet part of the deal ... Although to the Race-Baiters like Obama, Jessie and Al were all against this merger being done without Kwanzaa, they pronounced it as racist and unfair to blacks ... It was considered, because by adding Kwanzaa that runs from December 26 to January 1st. it would extend the shopping season therefore enhancing the profit margins for all merchants. No estimations were made as to the losses of profits from all the looting and rioting ... It was noted however that changing Chrismukkah to ‘Kwanchrismukkah’ would make it almost impossible to pronounce ... The spokes person closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing rendition of ... Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful. done with RAP — Grin Merry Christmas, to one and all ... Chopper
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 12:17:13 +0000
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