Continuing Contemplations 12/2014 When we last left our heroine, she had just reconciled her old path with her current path, Kathryns eyes popped wide open at three in the morning. Oh! Please dont do this to me mind! I must sleep! The words would not leave Kathryns mind. She lay there suddenly wide awake with thoughts of last nights conversation running through her mind. It could make a good story even if it wasnt yet complete. It didnt matter if it was complete; there were interesting components that were too good not to share with others. Kathryn rolled her eyes. It was three oclock in the morning. One should be sleeping. No distractions! Kathryn heard ring through her mind. Kathryn looked at her son lying next to her. He had come an hour or two ago to snuggle with mama. He looked like an angel sleeping next to her. Kathryn kissed his nose. Why can I see his face? She thought. It is the middle of the night. I shouldnt be able to see his face. Why can I see his face? And I shouldnt be awake. Kathryn conversed with herself in her mind, Oh, what difference does it make if it is three oclock in the morning. Consider this practice for you. You want to get up at two in the morning after Christmas to drive south. Come on. You want to get up. Kathryn sighed, Okay! You win. I am up! She got out of bed. She took her pajamas off and threw on jeans and a turtleneck. She brushed her hair back into a ponytail. Why could she see so easily? she thought. It was still pretty darned dark, but she shouldnt be able to see this clearly. She looked out the window and saw the white snow shining bright. Full moon! she thought. Kathryn went to use the loo and saw coals in the woodstove glowing. Ooooo, she thought. I can easily throw another log on and keep the fire going. She completed both tasks then sat down in a chair. She picked up her android and began typing. She stopped typing. She got up and turned the burner on under the tea kettle then sat back down to write again. She thought back on her last piece of writing. She had just looked at her past in line with her present. She had not expected to be filled with so much emotion when she faced that subject. She thought she had dealt with the majority of the conflict. Yet the way that had all played out had left Kathryn hungry for more. Kathryn had walked away from that experience with more than just a reconciliation of the past. Pastor K had shown her a new way to view the Bible -- a healthy way to view the Bible. His interpretation of the verses and the differences and similarities between the pain and misery of the old testament verses the love and compassion of the new testament had left Kathryn with something she hadnt expected. For the first time, she had a glimpse of understanding. She wanted more of this understanding. The tea kettle was close to whistling. Kathryn did not want to wake the others, so she quickly turned the burner off. The moon must have gone behind a cloud because it was not so bright outside anymore. The night lights around the kitchen were enough for Kathryn to prepare a cup of tea. She did so and sat back down to write. It would not come immediately, the understanding of the Bible. Nor would it come completely. Kathryn understood this. Yet at the same time, there was this new hunger and this new drive. She had become a wide open sponge to the Word. She was ready for more understanding. She knew in time it would come. She would not rush it. Despite the relaxed approach she wanted with her stories during the month of December, the flow of growth still came. The previous Thursdays group chat had been focused on Luke one and Luke two in the Bible. The group had wanted to focus on the birth of Christ. As the conversation continued, Kathryn, Mom, and Claire ended up focusing on what it must have been like for Mary to receive the message from God about becoming the mother to the Messiah. The other two felt awe, but Kathryn had felt confusion and fear. Despite reconciling her past with her present, Kathryn did not have a good grasp on the matter of spirits. In her mind, spirits could not be trusted at all. The angel Gabriel appearing to Mary was a spirit going to a human. How in the world could one trust that it was from God and not a form of trickery? Kathryn tried to explain to Mom and Claire, but Kathryn struggled with her words at that moment. However, the next morning, Kathryn was able to more clearly express her thoughts. Mom said to bring it to Pastor K, so Kathryn did. How could one tell the difference between a good spirit and a bad spirit? His response back was short, but spot on. There is only one spirit that mattered and whatever it brought would fall in line with what the scriptures said. This spirit was the Holy Spirit and was the only one to trust. Naturally, the next question was about how could one discern the Holy Spirit from another spirit. Kathryn had known the answer because she listened to Pastor Ks sermons and had spoken to him before about hearing God. Read your Bible. Read your Bible. Read your Bible. When one is immersed in the Word, then one can more easily hear the voice of God. This had been confirmed for Kathryn through one of Pastor Ms sermons that she had just heard earlier in the week. He had talked about how reading the Bible kept us in line with God. If we stopped, we could easily stop hearing what God wanted. So if someone wanted to know if it was the voice of God or some trickery, then all one needed to do was read your Bible, read your Bible, read your Bible. Kathryn had another question. Wasnt Gabriel a spirit sent from God. Pastor K had replied that Gabriel was a messenger from God but that he was not a spirit. Gabriel had a spirit as she did, as Pastor K did, as everyone did. Yet Gabriel was an angel, not a spirit. God would make known any messenger he sent. Pastor Ks response had sent Kathryn and Mom down a whirlwind of conversations. Mom was used to this. Kathryns mind just never stopped processing something. Somehow, the conversation was drawn to the books Kathryn had kept on her shelves. These were the books that Kathryn did not categorize as pagan, but still felt needed to be evaluated. Kathryn remembered trying to explain to Mom about the books. Mom did not understand the nature of the books and could not give direction one way or another. That was okay, Kathryn wasnt asking Mom for direction. Kathryn was using Mom as a sounding board. Kathryn had to decide for herself. The only reason it was on the table was because of the interactions Kathryn had with the woman who danced with darkness. As Kathryn conversed with Mom and very poorly tried explaining the thoughts in her head, Kathryn finally said, Oh! This just needs to be handed over to God! She then wrote a prayer in the message window, God, I sure could use some insight here. I am trying to present this dilemma to Mom and I dont think I am doing a good job. I guess that is because I dont know one hundred percent about this. I want the conviction one way or another -- it is ok or it is not. Only you can show me if it is or isnt. So, I put these books on the table -- my reiki books, my holistic massage books, my dosha (ayervedic) books, my animal interpretation books. Lord, is this something you want on my bookshelves and is this something you want me to remain open to? Please show me in your Word if these are things I should not keep. But Lord, if they are something that you want me to remain open to, please give me a sign for this also. Lord, I ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Done. Kathryn had let the matter go with that prayer. It wasnt pressing and she trusted the answer would come when it needed to. Kathryn had opened the Bible randomly the next day, but nothing stood out to her as an answer. It was almost a week later before Kathryn found her answer. She had been reading Luke in her study Bible. When she got to Luke, chapter four, verse three she got her answer. Kathryn hadnt understood just from reading the verse, but when she read the notes in the margin of te study guide, she understood the message. Kathryn read, The issue was not what the temptation was but what the motive was behind it all. The devil often appeals to our pride, hoping that we will take matters into our own hands rather than trust in God! Something clicked. When Kathryn read this side note, she clearly saw her path with paganism. Her path with paganisim was all about taking matters into her own hands. Kathryn had come to understand this a long while ago. Reiki wasnt pagan though. When she thought on what she knew about Reiki, she understood that Reiki was about not having control. The answer was suddenly clear to Kathryn: do not control. Trust in God. With these two things, Reiki was okay. Kathryn was excited. She popped Mom a note. They began conversing. Kathryn pulled one of her Reiki books down. The person who began Reiki was a buddhist. From what Kathryn understood, Buddhism was not a religion, but rather a philosophy. Mom said it was a religion. The conversation pulled away from Reiki and the message Kathryn received in the Bible and focused on defining Buddhism. It was a rather interesting conversation. Dad got involved too because Mom and Dad were talking in person while Mom was messaging Kathryn. It was all about defining Buddhism. After a while, both Mom and Kathryn wrote each other what is the point of this conversation? We are circling. None of this matters in the larger scheme of things. This was a truth both felt. Whether Buddhism was a religion or not was not the point. Buddhism did not define either of their relationships with God. Agreeing on this point would not make one bit of difference on their path with Christ. Debating Buddhism completely missed the real question at hand -- was Reiki something that Kathryn could use moving forward? Kathryn felt she had received her answer: as long as self was removed and trust was in God, she would not go wrong. She felt God had given her the answer through his Word. She knew that self was removed in Reiki and she knew that her trust was in God. She still felt that God had answered her that Reiki was ok. Yet, Kathryn being the questioning person she was, had a new question because of the conversation with Mom. Once there was a question, it had to be answered. The conversation with Mom created one clear truth. Buddhism was not of Christ. Mom automatically thought, not of Christ, dont waste your time. Kathryn, however, can see how there are many modern things not of Christ that people utilize all the time whle remaining in Christ. Reiki is an alternative therapy. If one would reject an alternative therapy, then one should also reject modern doctoring. Afterall, if one goes to the doctor to fix something, then one is removing their trust in God. Kathryn did not believe that one should not go to the doctor. So it was natural for Kathryn to conclude that alternative therapy would be viewed the same. But the question had been asked and it was Kathryn who had formed the question. It would need to be answered: if a modality -- alternative therapies: Reiki, acupunture, chiropractor, herbalism etc -- comes from someone not of Christ, does that invalidate it? Kathryn asked the question and she asked in Jesus name. Kathryn felt she knew the answer. There were many things that could be learned from people who were not of Christ. Kathryn may not get the whole cheering thing when someone was saved, but not being saved did not make one evil. It also did not make their thoughts evil. Sure, some individuals could be misguided. Some individuals could really make a mess of things. Yet God being God could turn any mess into something meaningful. Yes, Kathryn knew in her heart what the answer to her question would be. Yet, she had formed it. She had asked it. She would need to wait for the answer that would show its truth or completely debunk it. Kathryn had to be open to either answer. She knew she would be. She sought the truth and God would provide. He knew she wanted to live for him. He would not lead her wrong, not now that she had opened completely to his guidance. Kathryn looked at her empty cup in her hand. She hadnt even noticed that she had drank it all. She looked at the time. Six oclock in the morning. She then said, Ok mind, I have written. Are we done now? I could use another cup of tea. Kathryn smiled as she answered herself, Go make your tea. We are done. Kathryn made herself another cup of tea and waited for the rest of those in the house to wake up. ******** (c) These stories are the intellectual property of Kathryn Black. They may be shared as long as in doing so, Kathryn Black is identified as the author and it is freely done (no monetary or barter exchange).
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 11:08:27 +0000
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