Creating balance and boundaries for sensitive people ~ Dannielle Blair In theory, balance is very simple to explain. If you give, you must receive. If you spend your days running around directionless and continually placing others needs ahead of your own, it won’t be long before you find yourself biting all and sundries head off for no reason, or bursting into tears when someone asks you to pass the butter. The act of occasionally doing for others over your self is not a huge deal, unless it is a pattern that you repeat regularly. If you add to that by not taking time for yourself to reconnect or reenergise. You are effectively taking a little baby step away from your center every single time you act out of obligation, and if you don’t make that time to step back, it is not long before you become out of balance. The key to keeping balance, is to be aware of yourself enough, to know when you have lost it. The signs I look for are feeling tired, emotional and like all I want to do is drop off the face of the earth and go and find a deep dark cave somewhere with a pillow and a book and come out sometime in the next century. When you have responsibilities, and people that depend on you, it is not always possible to do. So you do what you can, when you can, until the time comes that you can make more room for yourself. You may find going for a walk, having a massage or listening to music that you love, or even cooking up a storm in the kitchen is a way that you can connect with yourself and make yourself feel good. There are loads of things you can do, find what you love and do that. For the Mums with young children, you are going to have to make do with five minutes in the toilet with the door shut, for now. It will get easier as time passes and your babies grow and become more independent, but for now hang on and enjoy the ride. The truth is there are no quick or easy fixes, being aware and listening to your inner voice is the first step. Getting comfortable with yourself and learning to say no, without having to explain yourself or feel like you are letting anyone down will help, this will take time practice and patience for many of you, especially the habitual doers. Drawing boundaries, very clear boundaries is an essential part to achieving and maintaining balance. In order to draw a line, you must first know how to value yourself, and how much you a prepared to give. Once you have drawn a line in the sand, if another steps over it or deliberately antagonizes you don’t feel like you always need to keep the peace and let it go. If someone is out of line and their behavior towards you is inappropriate, sometimes you have to stand in your power and integrity and tell them (politely if you must) to back off. It is not in your nature to be malicious, but you are no doormat and it is perfectly okay to assert yourself in a situation if the need arises. You are peace loving by nature, but you are also a strong and noble person it is okay, to pick up a sword (figuratively speaking) in defence if you need too. If you have reached the point where you need to retreat and withdraw from the world it is more than okay. You are a unique and sensitive being and the more comfortable you become with your differences and start viewing them as a gift the easier it is to let go of feeling like a weirdo when you find yourself crying at a kitten in a box on a YouTube clip (oh yes I did.) You are a loving and caring person, you do not need to apologise for being emotional. You vibrate and give to others with such intensity it is completely understandable that your energy needs will be different to those around you. Quit comparing yourself to others, quit apologising. Get comfortable with yourself and work at it. As I said in the beginning balance is easy to explain, but much harder to put into action. Once you get the idea and come up with some tools that work to empower you, exercise awareness and kindness towards yourself every day. Listen to your body when it says NO MORE, and put that into action, you’re moving in the right direction. The rest is just good old fashioned working at it. Now where did I put my pillow and Janet Evanovich novel?
Posted on: Thu, 14 Nov 2013 05:38:50 +0000
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