DONT IMPRESS; EXPRESS: Nothing impresses a woman less than trying to impress her. Nothing impresses a woman more than being genuinely impressed by her. I watched this dynamic play out over and over in my childhood home. When my dad would go out into the world and win bread, attention and accolades shed be proud of him, but I could see her feel an overall heart disconnection. When hed be goofy and self-deprecating shed crack up and soften. And when she wanted to further her own career and path and he was totally supportive and encouraging shed be turned on by him and feel safe with him. She didnt care how many worldly achievements he racked up. That was not what motivated her intimacy or strengthened her bond with him. That stuff was ultimately empty to her. If a path didnt have heart or soul shed lose interest quickly, or if he became so obsessed with success but neglected his family life she would let him KNOW. These were strong people to be raised by. They were never above getting couples counseling to try and understand each other and communicate better. They each knew who they were: individually. They each valued, honored and respected themselves and one another. It wasnt a competition. It was a team. She was most impressed by his ability to read people and least impressed by his easy charm. She was over the moon when he spent quality time with us and pissed off when he lost sight of what really mattered. And theyd express their feelings. And it was scary sometimes but it was also? HEALTHY. Hed bring her little presents. Shed cook his favorite foods. Theyd take walks together and discuss everything under the sun. Hed miss her when she was in the next room! And they didnt try to be cool or withholding or pretend that they didnt need each other. They just loved big. They risked it all. Every day. Sometimes it would seem codependent and needy. But mostly it was just deep mutual affection and sizzling lifelong chemistry. Soulmates. The real deal. Epic fights sometimes but epic intimacy overall. Passion and tension and peace. I am the product of a cosmicearthly love affair between two human angels. Saints? Hell no. And yes, I know I was blessed. And cursed. Because that kind of love seems rare in this dimension. But it exists. And its worth believing in and waiting for. Cultivating inside yourself and sharing with the world. Letting the cynics sneer. They dont get it. Maybe they never will. It doesnt matter. You know what your heart tells you. You know whats real. So dont go with the one who impresses, go with the one who can express his wildfire desire for you unabashedly. Without fear of rejection and without hesitation. Knowing that hed rather risk rejection than regret. Pick that one. And then love him up. Or her up. Pick the ones who live from the heart. Who see life as an ever-evolving adventure. If you do that? You can never go wrong. And then someday...someone will write about *your* love story.~Courtney A. Walsh
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 09:53:45 +0000
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