Dad jokes that will make you Laugh or Cringe! > Milk is the fastest liquid on earth - its pasteurized before you even see it! A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts. My wife found a new store called Moderation. Apparently they have everything there! Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but theres just no atmosphere. I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff. I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things. My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late. If youre struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it!! Why do crabs never give to charity? Because theyre all shellfish. What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe? Roberto I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems. Today a girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian store up the road, but Im sure Ive never met herbivore. I went to the doctor today and he told me I had type A blood but it was a type O. Without geometry life is pointless. Whats Forest Gumps PC login password? 1forest1 I am terrified of elevators. Im going to start taking steps to avoid them. How do you organize a space party? You planet. Conjunctivitis - now thats a site for sore eyes. Doctor, Ive broken my arm in several places Doctor Well dont go to those places. Theres a new type of broom out, its sweeping the nation. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn! What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese. A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off. Im reading a book on the history of glue - cant put it down. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. Geez it was a shitzu. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan. Why dont seagulls fly over the bay? Because then theyd be bay-gulls! A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies sorry mate we only do plain What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt. Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards theyd still be in the boat. Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap. :-)
Posted on: Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:06:05 +0000
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