Dal cassetto dei miei ricordi... Funny ideas for a crazy diary FROM 25TH JUNE TO 9TH JULY 2000 BY A TEACHERS’ GROUP IN THAT OF… Margate 25th. JUNE: SUNDAY. Are you ready Ciampino? Ciampino IS ready, but Standsted isn’t. The result? We left half an hour later, but during the flight while eating a sandwich, drinking some mineral water, four hostesses ‘ mimes and while going the toilet for physiological necessities we landed on time (almost). We went to reclaim our luggage and… It was necessary to reclaim Tina’s bag that was “handled” at the departure but on arrival on the “Manica” had lost its handles! Maybe, for English precision, the new handles will come back home before the bag. However what a satisfaction! They understood us and we understood them (maybe). Really? It feels proper yes! Outside the airport there were two cabs and/or minibus drivers. They divided us: - Six into the minibus that it wasn’t so mini and… - three into the big cab that was big but it wasn’t enough for us: Tina, Rosaria and Doriana. The two drivers, after taking different roads, left then as a rocket and gave us to our families in front of their houses. Sunday dinner! Typical Sunday dinner! Typical Sunday dinner very good for Fabrizio, Rosaria, Francesca, Doriana and for Tina…Italian food! Half a kilo of minced meat, tomatoes and eggs; all cooked and flavoured in a big pan with the addition of a hectogram of spaghetti. Very good? Yuk! After dinner we all went for a walk, we planned to meet in front of the Regent Fitzroy to see our school and then …Good night. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE FIRST DAY. 26 Th JUNE, MONDAY. We got up early and had a shower, ( turn over ). At nearly 8 o’ clock, we all had breakfast, after we had our lunchbox, everybody to school… It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and the wind was moving lightly some leaves of the trees said: “Don’t go, Don’t go, it ‘ll. be terrible; -will and shall, we don’t use it, is it true, Alfo’? Did you ears sing, Alfo’?” In the school we met two Japanese girls: - Cheriu’ and Marico’… and who can forget her? - One Colombian boy, Lennin, that Doriana, immediately, baptised Fidel. Why? Boo! We don’t know. And… - Swiss boys and girls, - Syrian boys and girls, - Japanese boys and girls, - Arabian boys and girls, - Japanese boys and girls, - A Palermitana girl, - Japanese girls and boys, - From Jordan, - Koreans… - All together for tests. The school director, or Mrs Hodxon, FAZIO AND TONINO CARINO’ S TEACHER, started her comedy while the drama was starting for us. FIRST TEST: 100 questions written and 100 answers filling in the missing word, yes, but which was it? Time 50, I say, 50 minutes. 10 minutes break then… SECOND TEST: 60 sentences and / or questions to listen to and 60 sentences or answers to write with 1, 2, 3 … infinite words to know and to write again at the most time of 40, I say 40, minutes. While the director woman and her assistant, Vicki, the two viragos, examined our tests, we enjoyed the second break, always of 10 minutes, What could we do’ Where could we go? …To the toilet, to the park, to make a call, to smoke a cigarette, to drink an English coffee… YUK!!! THEN… A tour operator gave us a tour for the building : …Upstairs and downstairs the staircases to confuse our ideas furthermore which were already confused enough. Fabrizio and Rosaria in order to focus better in the long run the varied rooms, finally got lost. There were the test results after the tour… Then we picked out some options for the after lunch and… Some activities for the week. There was a lunch break. We had the first: - sandwiches of a long series that lasted two, I say, two weeks; - chips of a long series that lasted two, I say, two weeks; - orange juice of a long series that lasted two, I say, two weeks; Then there were some chocolates, some fruit, abundant for Fabrizio, Rosaria or rather Rosario or Rossaria and Tina, not much for the others, but in Dacau monner, we shared everything as some good deported friends, with Marico’( and who can forget her?) We laughed because of the difficult situation ; “ Will and shall” that we don’t use and that aren’t so important, is it true, Alfo’? After the abundant lunch Miss Eve gave isc numbers and… Somebody was given ten, others were given 1, 3, 8, we made a bundle and the tour de force started. It’s 3 o’clock; FINISHED! It’ s time to turn compassionate and the wish of a worthy rest: It ‘s the most beautiful time for us. See you tomorrow, maybe I don’t know. If we might arrive tomorrow! In the meantime we went to the seaside and we saw … …MARGATE WHITE CLIFFS! There were lots of people around and lots of dogs that took their bosses for a walk at 5 o’ clock in the evening. For all, or almost, there was a lavish dinner at home then… EVERYBODY WENT OUT TO THE WHEATSHEAF PUB; do you remember, Chiara? To socialise among Italian boys and Italian girls, Swiss girls and Italian boys, a Colombian boy who spoke Italian and a Japanese girl who spoke a strange English with some click. “ What’s your name?” “ Norico’”…” We said: “ What is it that you don’t remember’?” PETER, THE TEACHER, socialised too. Do you know what his favourite clothes were? A yellow shirt stretching to straw mattress under his armpits. A COLOUR FOR A MAN WHO NEVER WANT TO TAKE IT AWAY ! EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE SECOND DAY! 27 TH JUNE: TUESDAY. Or rather the injection day! After that we carried out all the usual actions that we read in school books and that we memorised: ( to see how clever we are we listed them as follows , only once everyday)… - We woke up, - We get out of bed, - We went to the bathroom; - We had a shower; - We washed our hair; - We dressed ; - We dried our hair; - We brushed our hair; - We had breakfast; - We tided up our bed; - We brushed our teeth; - We took our lunch box; - Some of us, unfortunately, read the newspaper, some magazines and watched TV too; - We chatted to our host family trying to understand what they said and trying to make an understandable answer for them; - We left home at about … according to the distance from the school.. Did you see how clever we were to conjugate the simple past? Everybody to school, some with the shovel, others with the wheelbarrow, we on foot … the others by taxi. 9 o clock! Lessons started ; an hour is given for 50 minutes plus the 10% of discount for a short break . There was the usual tour de force. During the first break we settled and we bought the bill for the following day trip : Dover. But where is Dover? Boo! Tomorrow we ‘ll go to Dover. REALLY? At 3 o’clock , as Rosaria last night didn’t sleep : - because there was lots of light in her room ( you could ask Doriana what she devised as a solution, Rosaria couldn’t do it); - because it was very hot, - because she thought of the man who always dressed in that yellow shirt ; - because there was the grammar clinic or the clinic of the grammar! - because she had physical problems; - because she drank an enormous cup of English tea and in the English way… Tina gave her an injection because she had low blood pressure and, together, they had the good idea of throwing the used material into a toilet and then … WE ALL WENT AROUND TRYING HOPELESSLY TO FIND A TRAVEL’S AGENT FOR A HOPELESS FABRIZIO WHO HAD A BIG COMPLAINT: “ I ‘d like to go to London , I ‘d like to go to London…” Finally in Cliftonville , Fabrizio did three joy jumps , without Joy and we too. He was happy to have booked for Sunday and we were happy not to hear his complaint. We went into the TESCO , a big supermarket and Rosaria took a lottery bill Scratch and win; she scratched and she won : 12 pounds. The shopkeeper girl said that it wasn’t right, she wanted the bill, but Rosaria , certainly not stupid even if a little malignant , didn’t give it to her. Her host accommodation confirmed the win and George undertook to draw the win: ice-cream for all the family and the usual bad gestures of… by all for the her birthday! 23/08/50 After dinner we decided to take a taxi. Tina was waiting in front of the nursery garden, alone, while we…were in front of the usual pub and with a shit in the left hand Francesca tried to call: “Hello 292929, we are 5 students, we need one or two taxi to go to Margate; we are in front of the Wheatshaves pub:” “Well, we are coming… …. ….. “ Waiting, waiting, waiting we took root and Tina, alone, acted a “ Rosary” and made a knotty stick for us. 45minutes later after an useless wait ,( 292929 you always call it and it never arrive ) we decided to go away and we went on foot to Tina but we didn’t find her . We went into another pub, The 19th Hole, a little ambiguous and we called to Tina’s house ,twice ; Tina wasn’t there and perhaps, the second time we made a mistake dialling the number and we had a very warm invitation to go to the toilet and to make an effort . 2 minutes later while we were deciding … what beer to drink , the pub’s phone rang and the pub ‘s owner asked us: “ Who is it Tina?” And we said: “ Really? Uh! Uh!” In fact Tina ‘s mistress worried about our phone call so she called us again . Tina was wanted . We certainly were wanted by police and were found before by phone by her mistress then by Tina in the car. This evening stopped with lots of laughs then Good night … A grape and each at home. And it is n’ t finished here. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 3RD DAY. 28TH JUNE, WEDNESDAY. The school started the lessons in a singular way. Every Regent Fitzroy teacher drew a scrawl on the blackboard and said that someone found a syringe into a toilet used by the children of the nursery school too. So this action was very dangerous! Our teachers said:” If someone like that does something he has to take way everything!” The lesson started and the head teacher knew everything by Tina. Then the head teacher threatened Fabrizio to throw out the window because he always talked in Italian with two Swiss girls. The head teacher called Rosario who gave her the right explanation. Rosario said:” My medicine was for the blood pressure and it wasn’t a quantity of heroin! The journey may be in the afternoon and not in the morning!” Francesca said:” We will know the Queen’s prisons before we will come back to Italy!” Then there were the usual lessons but there weren’t the usual breaks; in fact everything was shorter because we had to travel in the afternoon . “Yes, we are travelling by bus and by minibus to see the Castle and the White Cliffs”. The bus stopped us in front of the Castle. We say in Italy like: “Every world is a country!…” The bus in the same time went to make an other travel. We all, together, followed our teacher who looked for the Medieval tunnel , this teacher almost threw us into the sea. We fortunately caught an happy little train that took us to the right way. But could we give up to see the White Cliffs? They are unique in the world! Peter said that the other Cliffs are grey or they were painted with white colours. Rosaria didn’t want to go , the way was downhill but it was long and hard , Rosaria thought to come back, to the climb , to the bus that didn’t wait us, then … we made the “ Armistice of Dover” so we went to see the White Cliffs. But we thought to the way back! We decided to come back by… TAXI! we paid 3,60 pounds. It was very cheap! We all together admired the eccentric beauty of nature: the white Cliffs and the man’s creative intelligence that built the tunnel and the port and connected them in the right way with the nature! After dinner at home we went for a…walk along the roads, the streets with old and new friends of the old and new world! EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 4 Th DAY. 29 Th JUNE, TUESDAY. After we executed some usual morning actions we went to school. Lessons started, as usual, at 9 o’clock. And lunch was consumed in the open air, under the rain, because it rained, but we needed to get out of classrooms, teachers, Japanese, Iranian, Swiss, Japanese, Korean people. During the morning a good news arrived: “There ‘ll. be a test, tomorrow in the morning.” An other? Maybe. Really? Uh! Uh! For one group: past continuous, past tens, much, many and so on… For an other: “Will and shall.” Look at this, a little bit, Alfo’. At 3 o’clock the end of lessons rang and we went toward Cliftownville to go to The Tesco. Tina, Doriana and Francesca caught a taxi, incredible but it is true. They were able this time and they went shopping to have dinner together and to watch the football mach on TV HOLLAND/ITALY, at Tina’s home. Rosario, Fabrizio and Sabina reached them after dinner carrying two apple pies, the result of an other Rosaria ’s win of the Lottery. After the football match, Marco the Milanese, cried: “ We won, we won”, while he was imitating the sea-gull fly. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 5TH DAY. 30 TH JUNE : FRIDAY. The day of the test. It was cloudy this morning and nearly all the students were as dark as the weather. Test for all and…test was very well for all. After that almost all of us tasted an abundant lunch not in the garden because it was closed, Rosaria went home to cook Italian food for his family: - spaghetti with some garlic, oil and chilli pepper, - some pizzaiola meat slices,(She didn’t care about the had cow) and… - tiramisu, because after a whole day spent : - trying to understand something, - trying to speak English, - trying to read in English, - trying to write in English, …Do you remember “ If you are happy do it all together?”… We needed to cheering up. We finished this evening with a flourish: all at the bottom of the street near the sea in …a pub to drink something: some beer, lager or stout, draught beer of course, some Coca-Cola, some fizzy mineral water, with the old question:” Shall we take a taxi to come back home? Maybe. Lennin and Rosaria Came back home on foot at 10.30, the others by taxi at 12.00. “ Are you a taxi- driver?” a person asked to Fabrizio in the pub. “Yes I could be if I had the taxi, we could go home! He answered. As we said: “ A day of usual insanity while we were waiting for a taxi along the way. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 6TH DAY. 1ST JULY: SATURDAY. We made the usual actions before and after the waking up time and then, on foot, we went and met outside the Regent Fitzroy for our trip. One bus… and one minibus was waiting for us with 11 Russian children and 2 Russian teachers who had to get on the bus before us DESTINATION… Cambridge. A strange man, a retired teacher, stated he was on holiday in Italy, near Narni, maybe, he didn’t remember the town’s name! FROM “Adam and Eve” …Cambridge and its environment. Introduction We come from many different countries in the world. We are studying English in Cambridge. Cambridge is in the east of England. It is a small city. The population is about a hundred thousand. THE CITY Cambridge is an ancient city. It is famous because it has a very good university. The main industries in Cambridge are tourism and agriculture. There are also a lot of English language schools in the city. THE ENVIRONMENT The land near Cambridge is flat. There are no hills or mountains! The climate is warm in the summer and cold in the winter. It rains a lot. Sometimes, there is a lot of traffic. And there is usually some air pollution, especially in the centre of the city… He certainly was thinking all day…and on the way back he had a flash of inspiration: “ Otricoli, the town was Otricoli!”, he said very happily. We immediately diverted him to Annamaria; in fact they had things in common to talk about. The visit to Cambridge was beautiful. After we copied the Japanese: we saw everything, we took photos of everything but, like some very Italian people we didn’t buy anything we went into the very nice room tea. The aunts tea room. We attended the certificate cerimony to the students for the end of the school year. It seemed that we were participating at a fancy-dress ball in Venice. When we arrived home we had dinner then, almost all of us immediately went to bed; even Fabrizio who made a complaint. He said: “ A little walk, only a little walk, who is ready for a little walk? It was just like SPQR. All of us turned a deaf ear because we had to go to London the day after. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 7TH DAY. 2ndJULY: SUNDAY. TRIP TO LONDON. At 7.00 o’ clock a. m. , after that Rosaria had found a credit card that she immediately left on the church steps, certainly it wasn’t 100 pounds!… Four of us took the coach for London; destination … Victoria station. Try to measure, in miles or in kilometres, as you prefer, the itinerary we made almost all on foot and a little by Tube: - Westminster Cathedral , for a mass that didn’t take place; had it been removed, maybe? - Buckingham Palace, Clarence House, S. James palace, .House Guards, through S. James park; - Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Westminster abbey (closed because there were some other services), 10 Downing street, Memorial Warms, Trafalgar square; - Shopping in lots of shops … - Walking and walking and walking underground before taking The TUBE; - Piccadilly circus; - Shopping for sale CD; - Oxford street; - Carnaby street… At this time of the day, Rosaria needed an injection because it was very hot, too hot but there wasn’t a suitable and tactful place… Finally we discovered a small fast food without a lavatory but with air conditioning! For the series…”If they don’t arrest us and we don’t care for the privacy!”… The injection was persorhed by Doriana in the middle of the little place that had a wall all around with a series …of mirrors! Twenty minutes later Rosaria was very well again so we started walking: - Oxford street; - Walking and walking and walking underground before taking The TUBE; - S: Paul cathedral; - Tower Hill; - The Towers of London; - Tower bridge; - Knightsbridge; - Harrods; - Victoria station… To find the… Victoria Coach station… Half and two hours later finally at … … Margate and then …at home! How was it? On foot!, of course. Really? I don’t believe it: How AIAZZONE said:” Try it to believe it!” And next Saturday we may perform again , Maybe? Perhaps! EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME; EIGHTH DAY! 3RD JULY: MONDAY. And as Dante said: “ Against the…of the French the reason can’t anything!” The second week of studying started and there were some changes both in our lessons and in our teachers; a few of our friends were unhappy for us because the Italian football team lost yesterday. The week is plan was delivered tous both for studying and for enjoyment. We saw that on Wednesday we will go to Canterbury and on Saturday to Stratford upon Avon, but a few of us will go to London again because we can’t send Fabrizio alone. This was a good reason , wasn’t it? We decided to go back before because the day after we will have to face a long return trip. Fabrizio, immediately, went to book our trip, with Doriana: He was afraid that we could change our minds. Tina and Rosaria went home. The appointment was after dinner, in the pub, to plan our week. As if we said:” Any excuse is a good idea to drink the best beer , any reason is a beautiful idea to make a beautiful life! EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME : The 9th DAY. 4 Th JULY: TUESDAY. We went to school after the usual actions of the morning. As usual lessons began at 9 o’ clock and we had lunch in the open air. In the afternoon some of us went to Broadstairs by bus to see …Dickens’ house. Temperature was quite cold and to warm up they ate fish and chips After that they took lots of photographs they visited an old shop with two old ladies who seemed to come from an other world: Were they ghosts maybe; weren’t they? After dinner we met Mark the teacher and Lennin his pupil who were playing cricket in the school’s park and …listen Fabrizio picked up! He had a long conversation and a long walk with a very nice little Swiss girl, while his friends were making off because they didn’t want to spoil the atmosphere, so they had a long conversation with Mohamed, one of the other students of the Regent Fitzroy School. Francesca, during the conversation with her host family told that she likes “rabbit” so her grandmother often cooks “rubbish in salmì” for her. The day finished while we were singing: “ It’s raining, look how much it is raining, look how the rain is coming down…Tomorrow it will be an other day; we might see!” EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: 10 Th DAY. 5TH JULY WEDNESDAY. We went to school after the usual actions of the morning. Lessons began as usual at 9 o’clock and we had lunch in the open air. Breaks were shorter like every Wednesday because we went to Canterbury in the afternoon. During lunch Tina, our disciple distributed sandwiches, some fruit, cakes and yoghurt to the Japanese, the Swiss and the Korean people: she respected an ancient custom applying the distributive property of the “condivision” so that food increased. During the journey it stopped raining for a short time but the bus driver didn’t realise so the windscreen wipers went on working. We sang all repertory of the traditional Italian music at the top of our voice so we gave private lessons to the passengers of the bus. At the end of the day we met in a pub to taste some good beer and some fizzy white wine. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: 11 Th DAY. 6th. JULY: THURSDAY. The morning passed regularly, we took some photos of our group with each of our cameras. In the afternoon we went to Cliftonville to do some shopping and after dinner, we went to Margate by bus, near the port, in the CASINI’ area, sorry…CASINOS. The seafront was beautiful, but the area didn’t appear to be very quiet, then we caught the bus and came back to the…usual pub to drink a beer. WE BECAME VERY…ENGLISH. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 12nd. DAY. 7th. JULY: FRIDAY. Today was the last day of school. We had our certificates and at the end of the lessons we took the last photos as souvenirs with our teachers and students. In the afternoon Peter taught a lesson about British geography . In the evening, after dinner, we went to the pub “The olde Charles” for a collective Karaoke. We didn’t go back home too late because tomorrow Tina is going to Stratford upon Avon and the others are going to London. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 13th. DAY. 8th. JULY: SATURDAY. Of the series “FANTOZZI goes to London”. In the second trip to London, Fabrizio was likely to remain there for ever, but not in London… on the bus, for a bag that suddenly fell on him. The group divided when it arrived in London: Doriana and Francesca went to see the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace and…Fabrizio and Rosaria went to Portobello Road. London has got eight million people, only one or almost comes from Nepi. Well, we met just his wife and all the necessaries for her job. The photo was necessary. We met up again in front of Buckingham Palace and continued to go around the city, to see those things that we didn’t see the first time. We did a last tour in Cliftonville in the evening after dinner to say goodbye to the places that had accompanied us for two weeks. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: THE 14th. DAY. 9 TH JULY, ON SUNDAY. Or rather it is time to say good-bye. It was raining cats dogs and from the sky, but Fabrizio and Rosaria wanted to go to Mass which they lost in London and they set out to church,in the rain. The church was closed and so…after waiting in vain for ten minutes , they went to have a breakfast at CHIAPPINI’S ,an Italian man who is from Rome and makes an excellent coffee. While they were walking they saw a windmill in a garden and took a photo of it. Then you try to say that we don’t think about you, Alfo’! Doriana instead was able to go into church for Mass. While they were coming back home Rosaria met Ms George and she gave a lift her. Brunch was at 11.00 a.m. … An English invention to cook, on Sunday, one time less than the other days. Our return started at nearly 1.00 p. m. and we arrived at the airport at 3.00 p. m. . We arrived on time but our plane didn’t and so we took off at 7.00 p. m. instead of 5.30 p. m. While we were getting through customs: - Emilia was checked; - Tina’s beauty-case, with her talcum powder too, was analysed; - Rosaria’s handbag that had two whisky bottles was opened and analysed. ALL THAT BECAUSE WE ARE IN A UNITED EUROPE AND WE DO NOT NEED IDENTITY CARDS. While our plane was flying one mother’s only three little children : John, Joseph and Mary was a nuisance for all the trip. Our plane landed at Ciampino airport at 10,.00 p.m.. Our holidays were finished , we came back to the usual life but we hope to live through this experience again together and to remember these days we spent cheerfully. THE LEAF IS NARROW, THE WAY IS LONG. EVERYONE WENT HIS OWN WAY. EVENING WENT AND MORNING CAME: LAST DAY. CHERIO BYE! … FRANCESCA, DORIANA, TINA ROSARIA FABRIZIO.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 09:47:52 +0000
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