Day 220: Yesterday was a day of emotional extremes. It started with the doctors appointment to get the news about my husbands test results for his cancer. This was the day we had waited for, literally for two years, as it would be the point where his probability of a relapse go way down. Lack of sleep due to anxiety about the anticipated results, made us both a bit jumpy and edgy. Sour stomachs due to nerves and caffeine werent helping the situation. Emotional chaos as what ifs roll through your mind rapid fire in anticipation of the results. Waiting for the doctor, the minutes tick by so slowly, it feels like a B-rated Hollywood horror movie run in slow-motion in an attempt to raise the fear level of the viewers. Then theres the staccato of her heels striking the tile floor as she approaches the exam room. Is this the drum beat of a condemned man or the jubilant rhythm of a reprieve? In our case, the reprieve was granted and the milestone passed. The weight from 730 days of worry melted away and time resumed a normal pace. After a quick FB post to let everyone know the good news, I was off to the store for a one-day sale I wanted to attend and my husband went back to work. I should have stayed home. The store was a scene from another B movie, this one more apocalyptic, where the world ends and theres a run on supplies. The fact that this was a resale shop and everyone was grabbing Halloween costumes instead of gallons of milk, gave it a strange comedic twist, only no one was laughing. Many were arguing instead, in multiple languages, as different cultures of people all vied for a place in a check-out line that extended out the store. This was chaos, physical and verbal in nature, and I pondered whether the used clothing I was clutching tightly to my body was worth the effort and time. My mind was too numb to make a rational decision, so standing amid the shouting and shoving people seemed easier than trying to make it to the door and escape. Time, once again, stalled out, creeping by at a pace that yawned into eternity. At some point I made my purchases and fled. When I got home, my husband had already eaten lunch and had only one thing to say to me before going to back to work. Im exhausted. Me too. I sat down, thinking I would take a short nap. Only the phone rang moments later, my boss calling to say she was on her way to pick me up for work. And it occurred to me, that our normal lives had resumed after all. That earlier that day, we had been at a pivotal point, one in which we could have been cast back into the horror that cancer creates when it invades your home and lives, but instead, we were allowed to go back to our old, normal, chaotic lives. We had been given the ultimate gift. As we Walk In Grace today, may all of you receive some good news that you have been waiting for and celebrate the everyday, simple chaos that surrounds you. Its called Life and its an amazing Gift.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 10:52:53 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015