Day 5: the suns warmth gently kisses my skin as I enjoy the subtle breeze that blows. Sitting at one of my favorite places, surrounded by the peaceful cawing of the water fowl I had something journey upward. I have a great peace over everything with my ex. His motivation and energy are clear. I can stand solid in me and manage this without being overwhelmed. It will be what I make of it and I choose to make it an amazing benefit To my children. The universe has brought me several opportunities of growth to travel through right now and I am totally capable and welcome the work. I will not allow myself to be overwhelmed. I have created these. I want these lessons. I had a reading by a delightful soul along my journey yesterday. I should say more of a conversation because I know. Im still struggling with trust (less then ever) so I seek validation. More an opportunity to regurgitate everything on my heart. She brought up something that makes my soul ache. I have not been able to make deep connections here in Colorado. I feel I have a few people I absolutely adore. That I would do anything for. But when I slice that space open and am real with myself. I have not. Fleeting glances abound. As I look through my life I dont ever see that one person. Where is my best friend? Ive bestowed that title on several people but none of them play a significant role in my life anymore. Am I meant to be a loner? Does my soul desire a path of aloneness? I know I have met people from my soul group. Ive seen it in their eyes. The sparkle...the recognition. But they dont remain. Even now in one of my greatest struggles two people came forward and regularly check on me. One here and one in PA. Wtf. Do I need to re evaluate my standards of friendship? Do I give too much of myself away too early? I accept that people give what they give. And since everything has to do with everything I can only conclude that right now, during this season I must be destined to be solo-best friendless. To revel in my silence. To process through life with my own thoughts-without influence of the one who knows your heart as well as their own. And you know what-I welcome the silence...The joy and the freedom.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 18:07:29 +0000
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