Dear American Boys who think you are interested in dating my foreign exchange daughter, We have sat down and explained to them what they are to expect from you. You are to be kind, respectful, chivalrous and above all, GODLY. These have each been broken down a bit more below. If you do not meet ALL of these expectations, please do not waste our time and even attempt to woo them. 1. You must love Jesus. I dont care if youre a good Christian boy. I can see a hundred of those here in the Bible belt. So I know the tricks. Im going to ask you specific, heart-testing questions about your spiritual affections, your daily devotional life, your idols, your disciplines, and the like. Ill cut you a little bit of slack because youre young and hormonal and your pre-frontal lobe isnt fully developed yet, but Ill be watching you like a hawk. I know you. You will think you can fool me, and you likely have fooled many other dads who didnt pay much attention to their daughters suitors, but I will be on you like Bourne on that guy whose neck he broke. Which guy was that? Every guy. So love Jesus more than my daughter or go home. 2. You will understand that at any moment in time, I will be checking their and maybe even your phones... so if I find out you have sent them or anyone else ANYTHING that you would not want your grandmother to see/read... DO NOT SEND IT. 3. I will talk to your dad and tell him I will hold him responsible if you dont treat my daughter like a lady. If he thinks Im a crazy person, you fail the test and wont get to date her. If he understands what Im saying, that bodes well for you. 4. You will pay for everything. Oh, sure, every now and then my daughters can buy you a Coke or something and a gift on your birthday and at Christmas. But you pay for meals, movies, outings, whatever else. Period. 5. You will accept my Facebook friend request. So I can stalk you. Period. 6. If it looks like you need a belt to hold your pants up, dont even ask. I dont want to see your butt (nor the shape of your butt through your boxers) and neither do they. 7. Young people dating are putting their best face forward, so if you appear impatient, ill-tempered, or ill-mannered, I know you will gradually become more so over time. I will have no jerks dating my daughters. 8. If Boomer is not your youth pastor, I will talk to the one who is. If you do not have one, you should come to church then we will talk. 9. You dont love my daughter. You have no idea what love is. You like her and you might love her someday. Thats an okay start with me, so put the seatbelt on the mushy gushy stuff. Dont profess your undying love, quote stupid love song lyrics to her, tell her youd die for her, or feed her any other boneheaded lines that are way out of your depth as a teenage boy. A ladys heart is a fragile thing. If you hurt them, I hurt you. 10. If you ever find yourself alone with my daughter, dont panic. Just correct the situation immediately. If I ever catch you trying to get alone with my daughter, that would be the time to panic. 11. It may sound like Im joking in threatening you harm, and while I might not physically hurt you if you offend my daughter or violate her honor, when I am addressing the issue with you, you will not be laughing. 12. You may think all this sounds very legalistic. Thats fine. You can be one of the many teenage boys not dating my daughter. These may sounds harsh but I want you to know in advance before you embarrass them or even yourself. Sincerely, A Proud American Mom of 3 beautiful foreign exchange daughters.
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 18:47:53 +0000
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