Dear God, I seem so unappreciative whilst I feel like my existence is mundane. I cannot help but feel that something very important is missing from my life, keeping misery with me everywhere I go. How can I be so blessed God - My son, my mum, my house, my career ... But inside ? Lacking so immensely. I cant believe that I wish away the hours of my days. Growing tired of the daily routine. Waking up, having to eat, having to clean, having to speak, having to walk. Im growing to hate these things, which scares me God because these things are simplistic daily duties that my heart is resenting. Its nothing to do with anybody this feeling. Just myself and unhappiness within my own soul. I use to wonder what I was looking for or what I perhaps needed in order to complete my life. Estevan is my light within the darkness - he truly is God. So I dont understand why Im feeling this way. So mentally and physically exhausted. Carrying out my days like each day is a chore. Wanting to finish. Destruct. Im disturbed by my decreasing enthusiasm for life. I should not be wishing for time to move quickly, will I always feel this way? Im so broken God. Not only heart broken but spiritually broken, the spirit that appreciated every moment life would bring me. Jamie Perez 4:03am
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 17:06:45 +0000
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