Dear Mom, I think Im beginning to get a hang of this. To be more authentic, and stop being controlled by fear. Its pretty scary and yet Im still fighting. I feel like thats something you wanted for me to finally see in myself. There was that pivotal moment when I was younger where we moved from that big 3000+ square feet dream home into the 2 bedroom condo. As sad as I was in leaving the neighborhood of my friends, I was also beyond relieved. A new start. Perhaps there was a chance for a better life. For some reason at the time I didnt realize why you did what you did. You could have easily got us into a cheaper, affordable apartment on the other side of town, and yet you didnt. Why? We wouldnt have had all those debt issues later in life. No. It wasnt that, was it? It was the harassment I endured. We purposely went to a safer school system. That was possibly the single biggest factor. Again, at the time I wrote the correlation off as coincidence. It was when in my first few weeks of attending that I met some of the nicest kids and people ever. For the first time in a long time I could feel this thing. Safe. I had no more natural predators. Thank you for this. While it may have been a tragedy to lose the dream home at least you were able to do your best and succeed at improving my childhood experience, the formative years. Now with my kids I try to take that into consideration. I want nothing more than the best life for them. Its a different world now and despite the rampant, seductive negativity I actually believe the world is improving, in both the individual and in all of us. Or even perhaps Im just finding my place now. Im rejecting what doesnt work, like you rejecting the town that seemed to be rejecting me. Dad gave me the brain, you gave me the heart, and I think now Ive found the courage. The funny part is that the wizard and the wicked witch were just my fears about the unknown. As soon as he revealed himself from the curtain and she melted from water, all the truth was revealed to me. Thank you being a pivotal role in the story of my life. Without you, I could have never developed as a character, taking and making the changes necessary to be who I am today. I love you and miss you. Randall
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 03:45:11 +0000
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