Dear Mr. President, your Secret Service Detail, and the Chicago Traffic Authorities. Thank you so much for timing your visit to the north side of Chicago today to coincide with rush hour. I suppose that this is some form of your economic stimulus package because all northbound streets from the lake westward 10 blocks in are barricaded off. The entire northside is cordoned off and all of us wage earners have spent the past two hours idling in our cars consuming copious amounts of gasoline. I have personally witnessed three fender-benders, the result of angry communtters. Im sure these accidents will help the local auto repair shops. I am so on board with this stimulus package that I have decided to forego my own personal savings plan tonight to stop at the first restaurant I could find parking at and am eating out. Supporting the economy. To the Chicago Traffic Authorities: how clever it was of you to simply put up barricades blocking northbound traffic, starting and lakeshore drive and hitting each of the next 20 or so parallel streets going west. It was brilliant of you not to have any signs explaining the fact that the president was in town nor have any of your personnel be able to explain why all the northbound streets were blocked. Furthermore your decision NOT to announce this on all the radio stations so that we could plan accordingly for the rush hour commute home was truly indicative of the powerful intellect with which you manage our citys traffic.
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 00:27:44 +0000
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