Dear Zane, I am not sure exactly why I am writing you this email. My situation is like most who write you. I am a 26 year old single mother with one daughter, age 6, and I am six months pregnant with my second child. I am currently living with family and working a part time job to try and get back on my feet. Life has not been easy, but Ive heard without struggle there is no reward. Since my daughter was born, Ive lived with many relatives, never feeling like I belonged there. Last year in May, I was given the opportunity to move into my own apartment. I stayed in the apartment for a little more than a year. During that year, I was unemployed majority of the time. Due to lack of transportation and/or sufficient childcare, I have had more jobs than most my age. When I was without a regular job, I made ends meet by doing odd jobs for people. I was PA for a friend for a while. I babysat. I braid hair and I even made money doing simple resumes for people. Towards the end of the year, my daughter and I were living off a $35 a month food budget, buying all our food from the dollar store. I know someone will ask why I didnt apply for government assistance. I applied in Oct 2013. I did not receive any benefits until July 2014, one month before I moved out of my apartment for good. Making the decision to give up my home was the hardest decision Ive ever made. After living by myself, I didnt want to go back to being a burden. I tried everything I could to keep my apartment. I even made a GoFundMe page. Posting the page was a mistake and I soon deleted it. Many people took my decision to make one as a sign of laziness and made no attempt to hide the fact from me. I was at the end of my rope. School was starting soon, so the decision to move in with someone became a necessity. We left with only what I could fit into my car. We moved to another state, closer to family, but away from the only friends we both had. My daughter is very outgoing, so for her, making friends was nothing. Ive been here for a few months now and I spend all my time alone when I am not working. I sometimes mingle with family but I dont always feel comfortable so I tend to stay to myself. My entire life I have played a part. I have always been looked upon as different, so I tried my very best to be like everyone else. Ive been depressed for as long as I can remember. I never really succeeded in being what people wanted me to be. Eventually I stopped talking to a lot of people. I still smile when I see them and try to be happy around them, but there are very few people I am comfortable with. I have been looking for a job since I got here. I am currently working part time, pretty much only making enough to buy gas and pay my babysitter. Sometimes, my daughter and I will eat out somewhere cheap, just for mommy-daughter time. With Christmas coming up, I have tried to make her holiday as normal as possible. Majority of her gifts are from the dollar store, but I made sure she is getting gifts. Her birthday is the week after Christmas and I had to tell her we wont be having a party this year. Ive never done anything extravagant, but she has always had something. I have purchased nothing for my son yet. To be honest, I am just recently getting into the idea of having a baby. Up until month 5, I was more depressed about it than anything else. I wanted another child, but not by myself. Finding out while I was losing everything didnt make it easier. The timing of this pregnancy was bad, but I have gotten over it and am happy to meet my little man soon. Pretty soon I will be on bed rest and will be without income. It hurts to know I will not be able to support my small family. I am not writing asking for anything. I dont want people to think I am looking for a handout. I am the type of person who would give the clothes off my back to someone who needed them, even if it was the only thing I had. I guess I wrote all this to vent to someone who isnt close to me. A lot of my family who reads this will probably be upset that I wrote it, but I needed to get it out. You know? Well, Im done taking up your time. Thank you for reading my email. I know it was long and you are very busy. I hope to be able to write you a much happier email soon. Have a great rest of your day and thank you again for all the help you offer to people. MY RESPONSE: This too shall pass. I guess my first question is that I understand that you are a single mother but you need to put the father or fathers of your children on child support. Men should not get a free pass simply because they are not the ones who get pregnant. See if you can get some more braiding clients and look into work-from-home opportunities. Do not feel like you need to isolate yourself from judgmental people who do not have a heaven or hell to put you in. You will be fine. The main thing now is to be concerned about having a healthy child. Your daughter will understand about Christmas. The true meaning of the season has been lost among the masses. You sound like a very loving person who has caught some hard breaks but your trial will one day become your testimony. Good luck and God bless.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 02:35:25 +0000
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