Dear Zane, Im writing you in regards to my current relationship. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, currently living together.We both have kids from previous marriages.My issue is with his ex wife...the only word I can describe her is*triflent*.She puts his kids off on him for sometimes weeks at a time to go lay up with men.She doesnt provide the basic things that the kids need when they come over for ex.underwear, diapers, clothes.etc..On numerous occasions when they came to visit they had bite marks all over their bodies which I think is from bedbugs.His daughter has been at our home since June, after school let out.She recently dropped their 3 y/o over to spend the holiday weekend.When he goes to take his kids back home, she ignores his phone calls/text...so he has to end up bringing them back until she decides she wants to get them...This is really putting a strain on our relationship because hes basically letting her control my household by putting these kids off on him knowing theyre at my house and sometimes I just dont want to deal with them at all....I dont have an issue with the kids, but they are not mine, I have my own to raise...They need to be with their mother.When I go to talk to him about his situation, he catches an attitude and say that im not accepting of his kids, which is totally false..Its not the children...its the way their triflent mother goes about doing things...Im really considering breaking it off with him because of her...what do you think I should do?? MY RESPONSE: I have to come out and say it. The two of you live together and you are acting like your kids are more important than his kids. If he wants to have them live there full-time, you should not say a word about it. Is he paying at least half of the household bills? Do you consider yourself to be his woman? What if he said your kids need to go live with their father the majority of the time and only come over on weekends? You used the terms my household and my house. Not a good look, especially when you keep saying that the mother is unfit. If anything, you should be glad that the kids are safely at your house. Keep pushing him on this and he may leave you before you get the chance to break anything off with him. He is not going to put you over his kids...no real man would any more than you would put a man over yours. Thats the very thing you are accusing his ex of doing. You need to find your center and put yourself in his shoes. What the mother is doing is not the fault of the kids and, again, they have as much right to be there as your kids unless you left something out of this email. I am sure you consider you and your children to be a package deal. You should be glad that you have a man who is doing right by his kids. Good luck.
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 23:00:30 +0000
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