Dear sweet baby Jesus, as this season of greatness, otherwise known as college football, is upon us once again in blessed Oklahoma I vow to NOT succumb to my enemies and wallow in curses and bad manners as they throw vile and uncouth commentary about freely. I will sustain from entering into online squabbles about winning records, asinine fans and ugly coaches. I will not comment on posts that display those two horrid words that alwaaaaaaaays provoooooooke nausea and bring about my Turrets Syndrome. I will resist the temptation to post the many, many tacky but true jokes and memes that I have stored in my arsenal which display that other school, the one from Norman. Instead I will love my OSU Cowboys and fire my pistols proudly! I will not aim my real guns at naysayers clad in that putrid color red (the color of the Devil, coincidence?) who constantly try to drag me down to their level. Lord, I will not exploit my vast vocabulary of expletives on those who are inferior to my IQ and cause me to take time from my day and energy from my Orange Power to explain in detail how very stupid they are. And when I see these ignorant souls in public I will not try and run them down with my car. Lord, I know this will be difficult, but I also know that you are getting tired of hearing my name in prayer every season. This post will probably be in vain as those other fans that I speak of probably couldnt get past the first sentence, much less comprehend the extended metaphor Ive so thoughtfully provided. All these things I promise and I vow...for the next 24 hours...or 24 seconds. Lord, Im trying! Amen
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 16:04:12 +0000
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