Defining Godly Friendships “Actions speak louder than words.” That’s a simple phrase that captures the truth of genuineness of a person as well as the way a person conducts their life and the choices that person actually makes. The proof (the deciding factor in evaluation) is what you do, not what you say. It’s how you live out your life from day to day. The same is true in developing friendships with other people and being the right kind of friend – “Actions speak louder than words!” If you aren’t married or already have a good friendship with your spouse first, then what does a godly friendship look like with other people? As defined in Webster’s dictionary, a friend is “one attached to another by affection or esteem.” This definition is so general you could call your pet lizard your friend! The Bible gives us a richer meaning of friendship, for example: “Friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him.” - Psalm 25:14 “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my [Jesus] friends if you do what I command you.” - John 15:13–14 “He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” - Job 6:14 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” - Proverbs 27:6 “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” - Proverbs 27:9 By looking at my Facebook profile, I have several thousands of “friends,” but before we call someone a friend we should ask if we are truly prioritizing Jesus in the place of best friend. Do you spend time with him, talk/pray with him, listen to him, cry with him, laugh with him? As the verses above pose the questions: Do you follow his commands, knowing that he loves you, created you and knows what is best for you? Are you willing to lay down your life, as Jesus did, for the people you call friends? Are you kind to your friends or do you gossip about them? Do you have tons of “friends” but not anyone you trust and talk to about real life? Are you able to share your pain and wounds with your friends and know they won’t turn them against you like an enemy? Do any of your friendships make your heart glad when they give you counsel? Unfortunately, few people know how to be a good friend in this day and age. As Christians, we have a prime opportunity to help others understand what a godly relationship can look like. This certainly doesn’t happen overnight, in fact, it takes years to develop a true friendship and not all people want to walk through all seasons of life with you. I have learned how to be a better friend over the years by failing, sinning, repenting, encouraging, listening, being teachable, and allowing the Holy Spirit to mature me in areas that I needed to grow. I still have more to learn about being a godly friend but I am thankful for the grace that has been shown to me through my relationships. I have learned that some people are acquaintances and some are friends, but the goal is to be friendly to all and close friends with a few. This was Jesus’ example to us as he spoke out of love (though His honesty was not always seen that way by the religious people) but had a few close friends. If you want to be a good friend, it takes time and energy, physically and emotionally. I used to try to be friends with everyone, but as a result I wasn’t a good friend to anyone. I can’t physically be a friend with everyone in my life, but as God brings people I can be friendly and willing to serve them in that moment or season, depending on what God asks. For the few, that God places in my inner circle of close friends, I will fight to keep them there through my actions and words, as long as they are willing to stay, grow in Christ, and do their part in showing me that they are a real friend. I pray that for both of us, our actions will speak louder than our words.
Posted on: Sun, 22 Jun 2014 19:25:30 +0000
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