Dependence Day - a story that happened to me today. So, I was going to work on the “Older Men’ song tonight, but something beautiful happened that I want to share with you, so I I am writing about that instead. Enjoy. I used to be very judgmental when I was younger, thinking because I had something that someone else didn’t have, that I was ‘better’. I’m pretty sure that’s why I had to wait until now, when I am 55, to have my gifts recognized on this large of a large scale. I was asked my whole life, “Why aren’t you a star? Why aren’t you famous?” I resented that question and therefore never gave it much consideration. Had I, I might have seen it was because my heart wasn’t in the right place and I didn’t love myself. And since I didn’t love myself, I didn’t really know what it meant to love anybody else either. If I had had fame any earlier, I would probably a mess. For those of you that have not read my ‘story’, I had some really hard knocks. I came to realize though, the harder the knocks, the more life is screaming, “HEY! You’re going the wrong way!” I was pretty much stripped of all things material, my health, my wealth, my relationships. When that much gets taken away there is really only one choice… to give up… to say to life, “Okay, obviously you know what’s better for me than I do. I surrender.” And it was in that surrendering that I turned and faced the pain I had been running from, both emotionally & physically all my life. As I did, I found my heart and all that self-hate turned to love & acceptance. Tonight, I needed to take a break from the computer and was hungry, so I decided to walk into the quaint little downtown area of Point Richmond to find a bite to eat. I sat outside at a little Chinese place and ordered from a young man who was twenty at best. He couldn’t understand me when I told him the picture on the menu said there was supposed to be green beans in my dish and there weren’t any and I wanted some. (I like my green things!) We laughed and finally figured it out & he brought me a side of them. As I started to eat, a somewhat disheveled man walked by and paused on the street below me and looked up. “Do you have a dollar?” He asked. I told him no. It was true. I only had twenties in my wallet and no change because I had just been to the store and had the exact amount that was needed for the purchase. His eyes looked down. “I will share some of my food with you, though.” His head popped back up. “You will? For real?” he asked. “For real.” I smiled and gestured to the seat across from me. “I didn’t think there were any nice people in California.” He said. “I got here two days ago & had my van stolen and then two girls stole all the money I had, nine hundred whole dollars. I didn’t even know it happened until I woke up in the hospital… Thank you for being kind to me.” “Come eat.” I said and gestured to the empty chair again. The waiter came out at the same time the man was sitting down to join me. The waiter hesitated and looked at me to see if I had invited the disheveled man to my table or was being intruded upon. I nodded that everything was okay and he disappeared. I had that extra plate from the green beans, so I took a little from the big plate & gave him the lion’s share. He started to refuse the larger amount, but I said, “There’s plenty and I have food at the house where I am staying.” He looked like a kid at Christmas. Just then the waiter emerged with a napkin, utensils and water. He smiled and placed them beside the man’s plate, nodded his sweet head and left. My heart swelled. The young waiter and I were in this together. The man told me his name, but for the life of me, it has slipped my mind. He however, was one of those people that once he knows someones name, he will use it every other sentence or so. We talked mainly about him going to the Mission in San Rafael across the bridge rather the Mission in Richmond which is located in a really rough neighborhood. He said he didn’t have the money to take the bus. I assured him I would cover the fare when I paid the check. He offered his number so when he got the money he could pay me back… heart swell #2. I told him that wouldnt be necessary. My bill was $11.00 and some change. The waiter brought two fortune cookies when he brought the bill and I said I got the cookie, but both fortunes were for him & read mine aloud. I gave the waiter a twenty. When he came back with the change I told him normally I would leave more for him, but that I would leave him the three+ dollars and give my new friend the five. The waiter took the tip tray and placed the whole thing next to my new friend’s plate. “What? You’re giving me your money too? Wow. You are nice people. God is good.” The young man smiled so sweetly and made his final exit. This time it was my eyes that welled up. Such beauty amidst such tragedy. What an incredibly poignant encounter. There was never a moment I judged myself as more or better than my penniless friend. I know what it is like to be poor, to be lost, to be scared, to be in need of the kindness of strangers, to be loved, even if for a few moments so that faith can be restored and the courage set aflame once more. It is indeed a beautiful life.
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 04:08:02 +0000
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