Dont hold me responsible for anything I say tonight. I have had to heavily medicate. The Dave called to tell me he was coming home early. I scampered to the kitchen so I could have his iced tea ready for him. Happy that he was coming home (I hate to be by myself -- its a thing) and, since I had the TV on that 900-something channel real loud and they were playing Skynards Free Bird, that familiar need to dance came over me. The song was at that part where its just instrumental and it gets to going real fast. You know the part Im talking about if youre cool. Well, I had just filled Daves tea glass with my FAVORITE tinkle ice and had poured the tea in. The overwhelming desire to really cut loose flowed over me and I got into it. I was having such a Lynyrd Skynyrd good time until I sloshed out a little tea from the glass in my hand. Before you could say this bird will never change (re the above song), SPLAT. My fat ass was face down on the hard and cold tile floor. I had slipped on the iced tea and fell flat on my face. My rib cage hit hard. It knocked the wind out of me. Thankfully, just at that time I heard the back door open and it was The Dave. I wont even try to describe what happened next. Getting my fatness off of the floor smacked of beached whale syndrome and was not something I would want anyone to see or even have a mental picture of. (IMPROPER USE OF PREPOSITION AT END OF SENTENCE NOTE.) I have helped myself to an array of pills that The Dave and I have saved back from our collective knee replacements and other maladies. Aint no telling what I may say tonight.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 22:03:28 +0000