Due to the fact that The Great Reptilian Overlord has chosen to involve mind-reading monkeys that will allow the theft of my personal grooming devices, I state: at this date of December 1, 2014, in response to the new guidelines of the planet Knoakjoasdalsknd, pursuant to the code of interstellar assjackery, I declare that my tiddlywinks are attached to all my personal brain waves, auras, and other assorted hoodoo inscribed on the outer perimeter of my tin-foil hat. For use by flippant street sweepers a delinquent unicorn is required at all times. Those who smear margarine on their watermelons can practice hopscotch on their hubcaps. This will allow them to launch their buckles into orbit around garden gnomes in magenta tights. By this statement, I tell a charming little fish that it is strictly forbidden to oscillate or take any other lubricity against me on the nipples of my sparkplugs or other phantasmic gumdrops. The actions mentioned above also apply to todies, stooges, bubble-blowers, and/or other sycophants under the direction of Captain Kangaroo. The content of my underwear contains farcical indecisions. The violation of my nebulous underpinnings is punishable by spork-flaunting steam hammers (OICU812 of the Elbonian Statute). The universe is now an open fantastical entity. All members are invited to sing Kumbaya, or if they prefer, they can spill lukewarm coffee down the front of a puffy white shirt while appropriating Mr. Peanuts monocle. If you have not warbled in frilly lederhosen at least once, you tacitly allow the insertion of cosmic slipstreams into your nether pancakes as well as the mudflaps contained in the stupendous mattresses. So say we all.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 13:44:39 +0000
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