EGALITARIAN INTERDEPENDENCE AND INTIMATE DEMOCRACY: SOME THOUGHTS In our house, I claim no biologically-determined leadership. My partner works outside the home, out-earns me, handles the finances and does most of the fixing of things when they break down, while I - a stay-at-home dad - do the vast majority of the home work and tend to our two Suns. And we talk everything out...that is, we break bread and come to a consensus on all matters related to the workings of our family. We discuss. We explain. We challenge. We discuss some more. We reach a conclusion that works for us. We move forward together, guided by our new, collective understanding. NOTE: the decisions that we reach have absolutely nothing to do with my partner cleaving to the overwhelming, phallic force of my suggestions as the de facto leader. In fact, leadership doesnt even come into the equation - nor should it. Egalitarian Interdependence. Intimate Democracy. Balance. The indrawn breath working in concert with the exhalation in order to maintain optimal health. Maat in relationship. ******************* Of course, the elephant in the room that makes this concept well-nigh impossible for most to embrace and practice is the thousands of years of unimaginably violent conditioning - cultural, religious, economic, political, psychological and physical - that has gone into ensuring that women and girls understand that they are (and forever will be) beholden to the will of men and boys, just because they are men and boys...and that THERE IS NO OTHER WAY FOR THINGS TO BE. We must challenge this, or too many of our relationships will continue to oscillate between the maddeningly so-so and the intolerably sh*tty. Anyhoo, thems my two cowries. What say yall?
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 03:28:44 +0000
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