ELF AND SAFETY AT CHRISTMAS Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh Oer the fields we go Laughing all the way A risk assessment must be submitted before the open sleigh is deemed safe for members of the public. It must also be considered whether it is appropriate to employ only one horse for this activity, depending on size of sleigh and the persons upon it. Note that permission from landowners must be gained prior to entering fields. Please also consider those who choose not to participate in Christmas festivities, and keep laughter to a moderate level not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance. While shepherds watched Their flocks by night All seated on the ground The angel of the Lord came down And glory shone around. Requiring shepherds to watch their flocks without appropriate and flexible seating arrangements is a contravention of health and safety regulations and human rights. The provision of benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs is recommended. The angel of the Lord is also reminded that before shining his or her glory around it must be ascertained that all shepherds are issued with suitable eyewear conforming to British Standards for filtering the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and glory. Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load Strict guidelines issued by the RSPCA [Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] must be adhered to at all times in relation to the heaviness of the load that Donkey is permitted to carry. A twenty-minute uninterrupted rest break is a statutory requirement per six hours of plodding. It is considered unlawful and an infringement of equine rights for said Mr. Donkey to be referred to in terms bearing relation to his stature which may be perceived to carry negative connotations by Mr Donkey or a third party. Please also note that due to the risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. We three kings of Orient are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star Navigation by yonder stars is not advised and we would politely suggest that traversing kings make use of satellite navigation or a recognised internet route-finder prior to commencing their journey. This will ensure the quickest route and most optimal journey with regard to fuel consumption is identified. In addition, whilst the gift of gold is considered acceptable, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of allergic reaction caused by such oils and fragrances. A suitable alternative may be a gift voucher.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 19:30:06 +0000
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