EXCERPTS FROM “PRETTY GOOD JOKE BOOK” A Prairie Home - TopicsExpress

EXCERPTS FROM “PRETTY GOOD JOKE BOOK” A Prairie Home Companion copyright 2003 1. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. 2. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. 3. Veni, Vidi, Velcro- I came , I saw, I stuck around. 4. It’s a cruel choice, work or daytime television. 5. I intend to live forever...so far so good. 6. Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes. 7. A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. Now you know why they call it a workstation. 8. Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. 9. Do Roman nurses refer to IV’s as 4’s? 10. Did you know that half the people are below average? 11. If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be? I’d choose the one who’s living. 12. Excuse me, does this bus go to Duluth? No, it goes beep beep. A home brewer entered his first brewing contest. The report came back reading,” Dear Sir, Your horse has diabetes.

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