Every song that is special to us, usually has a story. Memories of a past life, sadness, happiness, births, deaths, endings and new beginnings! We all have those songs that bring tears to our eyes and missed beat to our hearts! Its why we love music so much, its an expression of our lives and the words and emotions we sometimes cannot articulate ourselves! I can only talk about my own life experience and how I have coped with the difficult moments! Before I came out to America to live permanently I had to move back to my home town! The north of England is a tough place for a singer and musician! I had been spoiled in my previous life work wise and had had a very respectable career! So to return back to my hometown I had to go back to the start of it all and go back to where I had begun! Back to pubs and social clubs! Hard venues to play! I had to use backing tracks because in the Uk and Europe if you cannot be self contained as a singer and do a track show, you cant earn a living! So I would drive hundreds of miles each weekend, hump the pa and lights on my own and play these places on my own with just my mother there for support! It was a very bitter pill to swallow at times because I had been used to a high flying career! But it was what I had to do to support myself and save money to get back to the states to be with Jeff and start a new life! I hated performing on my own but I found a way to deal with it! I was lucky that my sister recommended me for a job in the special needs school she works at. They needed help each day looking after these children with eating, playing and cleanliness! I got the job and it gave me a purpose and focus during the week before the weekends gigs came around! I looked after a little girl, her name was Zara! She was very mentally and physically handicapped, in a wheel chair, couldnt speak, feed herself or go to the bathroom on her own! She was and still is beautiful! Shiny dark hair, the biggest smile you could ever imagine and the darkest eyes of coal! She soon grew accustomed to me and would be excited to hear my voice through her hearing aid! She became the inspiration to get through the challenges I was facing in life! On a Sunday evening, the last long show of the weekend! I would tell the audience about Zara and how she would there tomorrow and how beautiful she was and I would always dedicate just the way you are for her! Cos your amazing, just the way you are! She was what I needed and I shall never forget her! I am not a musician, I am a singer, I am a performer of songs, I am a communicator of the lyric! That is what I do and if I could have 1% of the gift Bruno Mars has! Goodness me! Music is subjective, we all like different things and we all do it differently! But if our heart is there then the integrity is too! We all strive to be 100% but sometimes you have to understand what 100% actually is!
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 04:50:40 +0000
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