Every time a celebrity ends his or her life - either by their own hand or accidental drug overdose, we, the general populace, go round and round about suicide. When there is dissent in perspective or belief or background, the attacks come and the blood is in the water. I have attempted to articulately, graciously and honestly share my perspective and have been flat out told youre wrong so, by way of foundation for MY closely held beliefs and opinions, here goes (and for a number of folks, this is not news): my first husband ended his life while I was pregnant with OUR son. He left behind a four year old and a mother who still grieves his loss. I was 25. I was pregnant and because the apartment complex we lived in provided the apartment as part of his salary, they wanted me to vacate the premises as soon as possible. My parents, to spare me the agony of dealing with that, took on that cross for me. I cannot even BEGIN to imagine what they experienced.To this day, I owe them a debt I cannot repay. A childhood friend who lived in the home behind ours, who was my brothers closer-than-a-brother best friend ended his life with a bullet to his chest after his girlfriend left him. I was 20 when THAT happened. Another Godly, wonderful man whose wife is a dear, dear sister in Jesus, struggled for years with depression and when he ended his life, he left her and two beautiful children behind. I could go on. Wait, I will. A friend learned from a phone call that her father had ended his life. That woman is one of the most loving, Jesus daughters I wish I could be. I heard her weeping over the phone when I learned what had happened and it broke me. I couldnt stand up hearing the pain coming from that beautiful woman. I have walked her journey with her for nigh on three years now and am constantly reminding her that time and love will ease the pain but there is no limitation on her grief. I have several other AMAZING, Godly, precious people in my life who are SURVIVORS of suicide. Nowhere in my existence, do I JUDGE the suicidal individual. I am NOT God nor do I portend to be. I, like TOO MANY, are left behind to try to pick up the pieces and answer the questions that dont have answers. My sons father CHOSE to end his life before Joe was even born. His step-dad and I are still navigating his pain and while he is healing, it, indeed is Gods mercy, grace and kindness, the prayers of many saints and my sons being raised in truth and love that are bringing about that healing. Not to my credit, but to Gods, my sons have watched me navigate the waters of Bipolar Depression secondary to Traumatic Brain Injury (and one of those brain injuries was inflicted by my older sons late father) and they have watched me make the constant choice to live life - as painful as it is some days. How could I just the pain of someone in the same boat I am in??? There are some precious, precious people who know some of the journey I have been on and PRAISE GOD there are more good days than not. I dont condemn the broken. Ever. There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I believe, right before his death, my late husband had accepted the salvation of Jesus and the friend who left behind a wife and two children was DEFINITELY a follower of Christ. As I shared above, God is sovereign and I must believe, if I believe in HIS sovereignty (and I do) that He always knew the choice that would be made by the one who could press on no longer. I have to wonder, though, does the soul in pain hear the beckoning of Jesus just one more time Come to me you who labor and are heavy-laden and LET ME give you rest? God has forgiven me and assured me of His love for me - in spite of my sinful, broken estate. I certainly forgive others - I cannot and do not withhold it. My forgiveness of the sin changes not my belief about the action. Feel free to say what you will or, use that little unfriend button at the top of the wall. To quote the inimitable Forrest Gump and thats all I have to say about that.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 22:33:50 +0000
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