Everyone was so kind to respond to my request for their advice today, and I got home from our date a short while ago. The update: The comments meant more to me that I can say- I texted him back accepting, as long as we could go a little later, & I heard nothing- for several hours! But because of all the wonderful comments you all gave me, I didn’t panic, give in to anxiety, or assign meanings that weren’t there. I stayed calm & realized he has NEVER stood me up, or played games, & like everyone said, they felt like he wouldn’t have asked me on a date, if hadn’t wanted to really see me! After 2 hours, no response from him was not normal. I called him & left a short message: date sounded fun, I had texted him, but hadn’t heard back, & just wanted to make sure we didn’t have a miscommunication. 2 more hours went by and still nothing. This really wasn’t like him- I was a little anxious, if I am going to be honest, but instead of giving in to it, I was able to talk myself out of it. A first for me! He finally texted & said he had been in a meeting all afternoon, hadn’t been able to call me back and his texting had been down- he hadn’t gotten my text accepting the date, so he was very glad I had called. So after all that, I was able to come home from work a bit early, had some time to get ready, and just get in a good mindset. I was focusing on just being in my feminine energy, not expecting any certain outcome, and to just have fun, and enjoy each other’s company. We had one of the BEST dates we have ever had!! You all were right!!!! He was 100% focused on me the entire time. He asked about me and my boys a lot. He listened very attentively. He filled me in on what he has been doing, and was very open. He never pulled out his phone-not even once. The whole time we had been dating previously, (3 years) I don’t think I can recall a date where he had been this attentive to me, and I can’t remember the last date we had, were he *didn’t* take his phone out at some point. It wasn’t like it was an issue that broke us up, but that fact that he didn’t do it tonight definitely made me notice he didn’t do it. He opened all the doors for me, paid, walked me to my car- he was a perfect gentleman. Everything was just easy and natural between us. I’ve had a feeling for weeks, that I shouldn’t close the door on “us” just yet, even though so many of my friends and family have told me I should- he’s too selfish, he doesn’t make the efforts, he can’t make me his priority, & step up and be there for me when it counts, etc. I’ve heard all the negatives, and have even thought these things myself (which led to me breaking up with him) and yet tonight- all the work I’ve done on myself in the past 8 weeks, and all the information I have been learning- since we have broken up, just seemed to come together effortlessly tonight. I had no anger, resentments, disappointments, expectations, towards him. I just “was,” present in the moment with him, and was my feminine self. And the reason I broke up with him- he wouldn’t make me his priority- and tonight his attention was 100% focused on me all night, and there was no doubt, I absolutely was his priority. At the end of the date, (we met at a restaurant) I thanked him for dinner as he walked me to my car- something he had never been that consistent in doing. We hugged and then he hugged me again and gave me two long kisses. He told me to text him when I got home, so he would know I made it home OK. I did when I got home- and thanked him again for dinner, & for a fun evening. He replied back and said he was glad it was fun for me, and it was good to see me. So- needless to say, I am just so happy. This could not have gone better, and to think I might not have even gone, because I had some expectation attached to him asking me the day of. There is definitely a lesson there I have learned! The past 8 weeks have been hell- I never thought I would miss him like I did, or he meant to me what he does. With the exception of the days I was in Seattle visiting my sister, I have cried every day because of this breakup. Sometimes when things break down it just forces you to have to rebuild, and as things were going so well for us tonight, I realized it would have been so much easier for both of us during these past 2 months to just say “screw it- it isn’t worth it,” and walk away. But after all the pain, hurt, regrets, miscommunications, expectations, etc…there we both were- sitting across from each other- smiling at each other, happy we were just there, because we have both realized what we mean to each other, and have been willing grow and adjust. I can’t really explain it, but this is just amazing how it all works. I’m obviously just learning, but I’m so excited to keep learning and I absolutely have no doubt, after tonight that I really am the “leader” in our relationship- because he responds , reacts, and guides the relationship based on MY emotional cues. I’m the person in charge of the emotions in the relationship. His job is to lead the relationship off MY emotions and cues. The key to EVERYTHING is my emotions, and the emotions from feminine energy are what a man needs to be the best man he is capable of being. If I had shown up there tonight pissy, full of attitude and negative drama, mad, angry, demanding to know why he couldn’t go out on Saturday, assuming I wasn’t a priority to him, etc…we would have had a MUCH different date, and that probably would be the end of our reconciliation attempt. Or, as if I posted this morning, I decided to not go, because I had an expectation he shouldn’t be asking me out with such little notice, we would not have had made the progress we had tonight. Because of all of you, you helped me access the feminine emotions that are positive- fun, leaning back, trusting, accepting, easy-going, confident, etc, and it made ALL the difference. Thank you to everyone who helped me today, once more. I have learned SO much today. I’m buying Katarinas book this weekend and plan to keep learning, and improving. I am so grateful for this group too and all your wisdom and insight. I love we can help each other learn and grow, and I would not have learned and grew as I did today without you. ~Holly, Ohio Holly learns so much just being in my ladies group (you can too, PM me) and she hasnt even read my book yet! Its newly updates with 23 more pages. Subscribe to my newsletter if you want to read the first three chapters. This book will change your love life forever. And shes so right that we women are really the actual leaders in relationship even though we let the men lead as far as pace goes. Its because most guys just respond to the emotional cues/charges we give since they themselves have fewer needs when it comes to relationship. Its usually women who start to be unhappy first. Thats the reason I focus so much on how to change ourselves (Im harsh on women, some people bash me) cause women really have 100% power to make their relationships better. And this is why I have such a high success rate transforming relationships cause Ive figured out the secret.
Posted on: Fri, 15 Nov 2013 17:30:50 +0000
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