Everything put away in their correct places and the fridge/freezer and pantry are happily full. Theres a wonderful feeling of comfort and security knowing you have enough and when I look at all I have - its so much more. Feeling a bit heavy because it looks as though I will be making a follow up appointment with the doctor. I spoke to him a few days ago and he believes I am having a slight reaction to the antibiotics but to go ahead and finish them. I take my last pill at midnight and hoping that everything will be clear by morning. Truth is, still have a sore throat which is also causing ear aches. Funny as I havent had an earache since I was a young child. I am feeling so much better and am very happy about that and if I should need to go, I will go. Its been a week of deep thoughts, buttons being pushed and lessons on patience and expectation, mortality, and stillness... nonstop. LOL Its doubly interesting because I tend to be much more emotional when not feeling well. I try to to reinforce boundaries and consciously make an effort to NOT react. Its made for interesting self conversations and observations, some of which are not fun at all. But hey... who said growth was fun all the time... to be fair though - most of the time it has me laughing a bit. Thank God/dess for laughter. Making a HUGE tub of homemade chex mix. :) My head is racing with thoughts tonight and though I am exhausted physically, my brain seems to be stretching for a marathon. So... I am in the kitchen, keeping my hands busy and filling the house with the aroma of comfort. I love cooking and baking for the gifts it gives to all of the sense, not just taste. I guess it is a drug... and addiction but its one I will happily indulge. There are far worse things I could fall into... so yes, I will happily nurture my relationship with cooking and music. Its a night of longing to be elsewhere, too... halfway around the world. Its hard to explain the ache of being somewhere that feels so much a part of you, not just one thing but for reasons there are no words or reason for. Just a deep longing and an ache that is very present tonight. Its early and strangely quiet. Not quite sure if that makes me feel more at ease or a bit more thoughtful... funny that. Bit surreal.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 05:59:43 +0000
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