Express your emotions verbally. This can mean finding someone you trust to talk out the situation and the accompanying emotions, this can mean writing things down in a journal, or writing poetry. Or it can mean talking with someone who you feel caused you feel sadness, or anger, or other emotion.[4] Refer back to the list of different emotions you made and use that to help you determining what it is youre feeling in the moment. It can be very difficult to articulate emotions as they are happening and having a list, or tool can help you sort your feelings out. When youre talking to someone who has said something that has hurt you (made you angry, defensive, etc) the best way is to use I feel... statements, rather than You made me feel... The reasons behind this are manifold: it takes away your own agency (no one can make you feel anything; you are the one who makes you feel something), and it puts the other person on the defensive, shutting down communication, rather than opening it up. Sometimes when you are dealing with someone who has said something hurtful, or upsetting, writing out a letter to them, or an email can be useful, as it takes away the immediacy of the hurt, and gives you time to process how youre feeling and how best to make them understand what wasnt okay about what they said or did.
Posted on: Thu, 10 Apr 2014 14:00:43 +0000
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