FACT: I suffer from DEPRESSION. I was diagnosed in high school and my life has been a seemingly never-ending roller coaster ride of emotion. I have sought treatment through counseling, medication, and 12 step recovery programs, but the truth is I STILL STRUGGLE EVERY SINGLE DAY to get out of bed, to keep going, to believe that I am loved. The news about Robin Williams hit me HARD because like him, people usually tell me I am FUNNY, I make them LAUGH, and I am always SMILING. Truth is I think about dying A LOT and I must admit there is a part of me that thinks Robin is lucky because he got out, but that is the DEPRESSION talking. The other part of me feels so incredibly sad that no one could help him. Everyone is calling him a comic genius, but I know he probably felt like anything but when he decided to take his own life. I cant help but think that if no one could help him in spite of all his fortune and fame then maybe there is no help for DEPRESSION this side of Heaven. DEPRESSION makes you feel constantly OVERWHELMED by everything. Sometimes I am OVERWHELMED by cleaning the house or even taking a shower. Big things like DEATH of a loved one, UNEMPLOYMENT, ILLNESS, FAILURE, or LONELINESS make me want to crawl in a deep, dark hole and never come out. Because I have a relationship with Jesus, I AM NOT HOPELESS, but I do HURT and I do STRUGGLE. I pray that Robin also knew Jesus and that one day he and I can share a laugh in that place where DEPRESSION does not exist and LAUGHTER is the order of the day for EVERYONE. I hope my honesty and transparency about my struggle will help others who are fighting this disease. Thank you for letting me share.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 20:08:26 +0000